Sometimes I get angry.
I say,
"you make me so mad."
When someone does something I don't like.
Mom says,
"Who makes you mad?"
I'm supposed to say,
"I make me mad."
Mom says,
"You choose the way your feel."
She says,
"it is not what happens,
but what you think about what happens,
that makes you feel angry."
When someone does something I don't like
I think:
"I don't like that.
He shouldn't do that.
It is awful that he does that.
If he liked me he wouldn't do that.
No one likes me.
I'm worthless."
I think these things all so fast,
that I didn't even know
I was thinking them.
When Mom told me to listen to
what I was saying to myself,
to listen to my self talk,
I started to hear what I was thinking
When I do get mad,
I don't like. . .
I choose what I am thinking,
and if I choose to get angry I will...
but mostly I choose to think.
I don't like what he just did,
but I will choose to stay happy.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tad James Co.
"The Tad James Co." <Ashley@nlpcoaching.com>"The Tad James Co." <Ashley@nlpcoaching.com>Jamie Smart" <jamiesmart@saladltd.co.uk>"Harlan Kilstein" <drkilstein@otc-publishing.com>"Mike McGroarty" <mike@shedhouse.com>
Happiness with NLP
Watch for future Growing together Counseling and Education NLP Seminars and training workshops
http://www.saladltd.co.uk
Thanks for subscribing to our trial Unconditional Happiness tips.
There's just a final step to get your FREEBIES...
You'll get an email shortly welcoming you to our Unconditional Happiness tips with the link to your FREE e-book.
The Tips begin and you will receive an email from us once a week.
Occasionally, we will send you an email notifying you of a course or product which we consider to be highly relevant to your learning. Speaking of which...
“All Through My Life I Was Told
‘Just Be Yourself’,
But No-one Ever Showed Me How”
Back in 1996, when I read my first book about NLP & Hypnosis, I had no idea of how my life would unfold. I was living in Oxfordshire, working as a project manager for a publishing company, and was making a decent living to support myself and my wife (we’d just married).
Slowly, I began to apply the principles I’d learned. Some things changed naturally in my life (I got a job working for a consultancy and moved to London), and I began to see results from using the hypnotic principles for communicating with others.
I was becoming more willing to engage with the adventure of my life. Let me explain. When I was working for the publishing company in the early 1990s:
ð I was good at my job, and well-paid for it, but I didn’t feel fulfilled.
ð I had a sense that there was something else I was supposed to be doing on this planet, but I had
no idea what it was.
ð To make matters worse, I didn’t actually believe that I could do anything else
ð I could see how other people could follow their dreams, change jobs, start businesses, change
tracks, find new careers, become entrepreneurs, but I somehow knew I couldn’t.
ð I didn’t have a clear direction for my life, but I wanted one.
In 1998, I attended my first NLP training. Two weeks later, I quit my job and set up my own business (still working as a consultant). I still didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I knew that NLP had something to do with it.
In the years that followed, I spent most of my time off (and a lot of my income) on finding the finest teachers of NLP and Hypnosis, and learning everything I could from them. I moved out of project management and into much more people-oriented work, and with each move, my overall sense of peace and fulfilment increased.
But I discovered something very strange.
I could get great results using NLP and hypnosis to help other people make changes and get what they wanted, but I had limited success using formal techniques to do work on myself. I got great value from the NLP approach to goal-setting, but it was almost as though something had been missed out of my NLP training. I felt like a page had been left out of the manual.
While I knew I was moving in the right direction, I still didn’t have the sort of peace, joy and happiness in my life that I knew was possible.
My frustration with this situation sent me outside of the field of NLP and hypnosis, to areas as diverse as homeopathy, quantum physics, provocative therapy, TFT, spirituality, yoga…my search was extensive. And in the course of that search, I discovered some keys.
The keys to success
These keys were so powerful, that they opened the doors that had previously been closed to me. All of a sudden, the NLP techniques worked for me. Amazingly, these keys also massively increased the power of the work I did with other people. The funny thing is, many of them were almost like clichés that I’d heard over the years, but no-one had ever shown me a way to put them into practice. Once I was able to do this, some astonishing things happened:
ð I began to spend more & more time in the present moment, and less time worrying about the future
and the past.
ð I let go of limiting patterns & behaviours. Problems I’d struggled with for years started to disappear
effortlessly.
ð My direction and purpose in life have become clear (they didn’t arrive like a telegram, but rather
emerged as I began to relax and let go).
ð I was suddenly able to make sense of the results I’d been getting in my life, and make simple
changes to start living the life I desired.
ð I stopped worrying & started enjoying myself. When I think about the future today, it’s with a sense
of excitement, anticipation, and enjoyment of the life I already have.
ð I am being true to myself. My whole life people said to me “Just be yourself”, but no-one ever
showed me how. Now I know.
Bliss-ninny
Today, I spend most of my days experiencing a deep sense of wellbeing, knowing that all is well. I had always worried that being in this state would make me de-motivated, and turn me into a ‘bliss-ninny’ who sat around watching TV or looking at the clouds all day, but nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve accomplished more in the past few years than I did in the previous ten, and am enjoying every minute of it.
Share my success
At the beginning of last year, I decided to start sharing my success with other people, and I designed Salad’s flagship training course, The Art of Being. This is the most powerful 2-day course we offer, and the results have been amazing, so we've decided to offer a complete audio recording of the two days. Here are just some of the results people have had from The Art of Being.
ð A woman who had been going through a messy, painful divorce, and was unhappy about her size lost
two stone in weight and established a cordial relationship with her ex-husband so they could settle
their affairs.
ð A man who had been working for an company quit his job, went mountain-biking in South America,
the returned to England and set up his own business.
ð An alcoholic stopped drinking and saved his marriage.
ð A man was able to connect emotionally with his son, and start having the father-son relationship
he’s always wanted.
Don’t just take my word for it – read what people who have already attended
http://www.saladltd.co.uk
Thanks for subscribing to our trial Unconditional Happiness tips.
There's just a final step to get your FREEBIES...
You'll get an email shortly welcoming you to our Unconditional Happiness tips with the link to your FREE e-book.
The Tips begin and you will receive an email from us once a week.
Occasionally, we will send you an email notifying you of a course or product which we consider to be highly relevant to your learning. Speaking of which...
“All Through My Life I Was Told
‘Just Be Yourself’,
But No-one Ever Showed Me How”
Back in 1996, when I read my first book about NLP & Hypnosis, I had no idea of how my life would unfold. I was living in Oxfordshire, working as a project manager for a publishing company, and was making a decent living to support myself and my wife (we’d just married).
Slowly, I began to apply the principles I’d learned. Some things changed naturally in my life (I got a job working for a consultancy and moved to London), and I began to see results from using the hypnotic principles for communicating with others.
I was becoming more willing to engage with the adventure of my life. Let me explain. When I was working for the publishing company in the early 1990s:
ð I was good at my job, and well-paid for it, but I didn’t feel fulfilled.
ð I had a sense that there was something else I was supposed to be doing on this planet, but I had
no idea what it was.
ð To make matters worse, I didn’t actually believe that I could do anything else
ð I could see how other people could follow their dreams, change jobs, start businesses, change
tracks, find new careers, become entrepreneurs, but I somehow knew I couldn’t.
ð I didn’t have a clear direction for my life, but I wanted one.
In 1998, I attended my first NLP training. Two weeks later, I quit my job and set up my own business (still working as a consultant). I still didn’t know what I wanted to do, but I knew that NLP had something to do with it.
In the years that followed, I spent most of my time off (and a lot of my income) on finding the finest teachers of NLP and Hypnosis, and learning everything I could from them. I moved out of project management and into much more people-oriented work, and with each move, my overall sense of peace and fulfilment increased.
But I discovered something very strange.
I could get great results using NLP and hypnosis to help other people make changes and get what they wanted, but I had limited success using formal techniques to do work on myself. I got great value from the NLP approach to goal-setting, but it was almost as though something had been missed out of my NLP training. I felt like a page had been left out of the manual.
While I knew I was moving in the right direction, I still didn’t have the sort of peace, joy and happiness in my life that I knew was possible.
My frustration with this situation sent me outside of the field of NLP and hypnosis, to areas as diverse as homeopathy, quantum physics, provocative therapy, TFT, spirituality, yoga…my search was extensive. And in the course of that search, I discovered some keys.
The keys to success
These keys were so powerful, that they opened the doors that had previously been closed to me. All of a sudden, the NLP techniques worked for me. Amazingly, these keys also massively increased the power of the work I did with other people. The funny thing is, many of them were almost like clichés that I’d heard over the years, but no-one had ever shown me a way to put them into practice. Once I was able to do this, some astonishing things happened:
ð I began to spend more & more time in the present moment, and less time worrying about the future
and the past.
ð I let go of limiting patterns & behaviours. Problems I’d struggled with for years started to disappear
effortlessly.
ð My direction and purpose in life have become clear (they didn’t arrive like a telegram, but rather
emerged as I began to relax and let go).
ð I was suddenly able to make sense of the results I’d been getting in my life, and make simple
changes to start living the life I desired.
ð I stopped worrying & started enjoying myself. When I think about the future today, it’s with a sense
of excitement, anticipation, and enjoyment of the life I already have.
ð I am being true to myself. My whole life people said to me “Just be yourself”, but no-one ever
showed me how. Now I know.
Bliss-ninny
Today, I spend most of my days experiencing a deep sense of wellbeing, knowing that all is well. I had always worried that being in this state would make me de-motivated, and turn me into a ‘bliss-ninny’ who sat around watching TV or looking at the clouds all day, but nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve accomplished more in the past few years than I did in the previous ten, and am enjoying every minute of it.
Share my success
At the beginning of last year, I decided to start sharing my success with other people, and I designed Salad’s flagship training course, The Art of Being. This is the most powerful 2-day course we offer, and the results have been amazing, so we've decided to offer a complete audio recording of the two days. Here are just some of the results people have had from The Art of Being.
ð A woman who had been going through a messy, painful divorce, and was unhappy about her size lost
two stone in weight and established a cordial relationship with her ex-husband so they could settle
their affairs.
ð A man who had been working for an company quit his job, went mountain-biking in South America,
the returned to England and set up his own business.
ð An alcoholic stopped drinking and saved his marriage.
ð A man was able to connect emotionally with his son, and start having the father-son relationship
he’s always wanted.
Don’t just take my word for it – read what people who have already attended
Jamie Smart NLP
Jamie Smart's NLP Tip 301 - NLP Technique Secrets - Part Two - The 3 Essentials for Healing, Coaching & Rapid Change - 2nd April, 2009
===================================================================
In today's NLP Tip:
1. ARTICLE: "Tip 301 - NLP Technique Secrets - Part Two - The 3 Essentials for Healing, Coaching & Rapid Change - 2nd April, 2009"
2. FREE EBOOK: "The Hidden Power of Meaning"
3. ADVERT: "Feeling ripped off after accelerated prac or mprac?"
####################################################################
NLP Tip 301 - NLP Technique Secrets - Part Two - The 3 Essentials for Healing, Coaching & Rapid Change - 2nd April, 2009
####################################################################
Last week we explored the power of deep rapport. This week, I'm going to let you in on a fascinating discovery made by NLP co-developer, Robert Dilts. In this article, I'm going to reveal the 3 "essentials" that every changeworker needs to know...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the article and all your information can be found at:
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp-tip/301.html
Essentials for Healing, Coaching & Rapid Change
Last week we explored the power of deep rapport. This week, I'm going to let you in on a fascinating discovery made by NLP co-developer, Robert Dilts. In this article, I'm going to reveal the 3 “essentials” that every changeworker needs to know.
Nine years ago, I learned a form of energy therapy that promised rapid results in 90% of cases. At the course, I was amazed as the trainer healed long-held phobias, anxieties & compulsions in just a few minutes using non-verbal interventions. I went out into the world with my new skills, enthusiastic to show people what was possible. But I found that my results were nowhere near as impressive as those of the trainer – the 90% clear-up rate seemed a long way off.
Then I heard a story about Robert Dilts & healers. Dilts found people from a variety of backgrounds who were masters of healing. Some came from a traditional medicine, others from therapy. Some used bodywork, others used coaching. Some used non-verbal approaches, others were entirely verbal. As Dilts modeled these extraordinary healers, he found 3 things that they all shared in common.
In my work as a trainer & a coach, I've found that these 3 things apply, whatever mode I'm working in.
ESSENTIAL ONE – A Relationship with the Client
All of these healers had some kind of relationship or connection with their client. This doesn't necessarily mean an ongoing relationship – what it means to me is that they had a rapport with the person, meeting them at their map of the world & making them feel understood. (For more on this, see last week's tip).
ESSENTIAL TWO – A Healing Intention
All of these healers had “a healing intention”. I interpret this as an intention that whatever you're doing is for the wholeness & wellbeing of the client. One of the presuppositions of NLP is that people aren't broken so they don't need fixing. I like to hold this in mind as I work, so that I always remember that they're already whole, perfect & complete. And... sometimes my job is to nudge them into a greater experience of that wholeness.
ESSENTIAL THREE – A Method
All of the healers Dilts modeled had some kind of method, some kind of ritual. For some, it could be the process of diagnosis, for others, it might be a form of bodywork. In my case, it's asking questions to find out what's going on & using NLP to help make changes. In the case of another great healer I know, it's checking their pulses & sticking acupuncture needles in the clients body at particular points. The method doesn't seem to be too important: what IS important is that they have a method that they believe in.
Stop for a moment: what can you do to incorporate these three qualities whenever you're doing what you're doing with people, whether it's formal changework, managing people, doing customer service. The reality is that we live in a society that needs healing, so however you spend your time, there are probably opportunities to remind others of their sense of wholeness.
In my own case, I suddenly realised that I was using the energy therapy to show off to others (“Look at this cool thing I can do. Hold still!”). This was not a healing intention, & also interfered with my relationship to the other person. Once I realised this, I let go of that unhelpful intention & set an intention for wholeness, & voila! My results got better & better.
I explore “The 3 Healing Eseentials” in depth on our new DVD set, The NLP Techniques Masterclass. If you're do changework with people, get your copy right away to ensure you give your clients the best experience & results possible. We've only produced 100 PAL & 100 NTSC copies, so order now to ensure you don't have to wait for the next run.
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/catalog/nlp-techniques-masterclass-dvd-set-p-170.html
Have a great week
To your success!
Your friend
Jamie
Jamie Smart
Jamie Smart
CEO
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
Feeling ripped off after accelerated prac or master prac?
WI received an email from an NLP Master Practitioner this week who explained that she'd attended an accelerated programme
& received her certificate, but that she didn't feel confident in her skills.
I understood completely. The first NLP practitioner & master prac programmes I attended were in very large groups of
several hundred people, & over a short period of time. I had an amazing experience, but didn't feel confident in my skills.
So I repeated all my training with smaller groups, & on modular programmes. The acceleration in my skills & confidence
was DRAMATIC.
It's with this in mind that we offer a 1/3 discount to anyone who's done Prac or Master Prac and wants to repeat it with
Salad. If you want to develop a superb set of skills, & the kind of congruent confidence that gets results fast, book your place now.
Our Master Prac programme starts on April 17, so call the booking hotline on 0845 650 1045 to ensure you don't miss out.
Click Here for More Details
© Copyright 2009. Jamie Smart. All Rights Reserved...
===================================================================
In today's NLP Tip:
1. ARTICLE: "Tip 301 - NLP Technique Secrets - Part Two - The 3 Essentials for Healing, Coaching & Rapid Change - 2nd April, 2009"
2. FREE EBOOK: "The Hidden Power of Meaning"
3. ADVERT: "Feeling ripped off after accelerated prac or mprac?"
####################################################################
NLP Tip 301 - NLP Technique Secrets - Part Two - The 3 Essentials for Healing, Coaching & Rapid Change - 2nd April, 2009
####################################################################
Last week we explored the power of deep rapport. This week, I'm going to let you in on a fascinating discovery made by NLP co-developer, Robert Dilts. In this article, I'm going to reveal the 3 "essentials" that every changeworker needs to know...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the article and all your information can be found at:
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp-tip/301.html
Essentials for Healing, Coaching & Rapid Change
Last week we explored the power of deep rapport. This week, I'm going to let you in on a fascinating discovery made by NLP co-developer, Robert Dilts. In this article, I'm going to reveal the 3 “essentials” that every changeworker needs to know.
Nine years ago, I learned a form of energy therapy that promised rapid results in 90% of cases. At the course, I was amazed as the trainer healed long-held phobias, anxieties & compulsions in just a few minutes using non-verbal interventions. I went out into the world with my new skills, enthusiastic to show people what was possible. But I found that my results were nowhere near as impressive as those of the trainer – the 90% clear-up rate seemed a long way off.
Then I heard a story about Robert Dilts & healers. Dilts found people from a variety of backgrounds who were masters of healing. Some came from a traditional medicine, others from therapy. Some used bodywork, others used coaching. Some used non-verbal approaches, others were entirely verbal. As Dilts modeled these extraordinary healers, he found 3 things that they all shared in common.
In my work as a trainer & a coach, I've found that these 3 things apply, whatever mode I'm working in.
ESSENTIAL ONE – A Relationship with the Client
All of these healers had some kind of relationship or connection with their client. This doesn't necessarily mean an ongoing relationship – what it means to me is that they had a rapport with the person, meeting them at their map of the world & making them feel understood. (For more on this, see last week's tip).
ESSENTIAL TWO – A Healing Intention
All of these healers had “a healing intention”. I interpret this as an intention that whatever you're doing is for the wholeness & wellbeing of the client. One of the presuppositions of NLP is that people aren't broken so they don't need fixing. I like to hold this in mind as I work, so that I always remember that they're already whole, perfect & complete. And... sometimes my job is to nudge them into a greater experience of that wholeness.
ESSENTIAL THREE – A Method
All of the healers Dilts modeled had some kind of method, some kind of ritual. For some, it could be the process of diagnosis, for others, it might be a form of bodywork. In my case, it's asking questions to find out what's going on & using NLP to help make changes. In the case of another great healer I know, it's checking their pulses & sticking acupuncture needles in the clients body at particular points. The method doesn't seem to be too important: what IS important is that they have a method that they believe in.
Stop for a moment: what can you do to incorporate these three qualities whenever you're doing what you're doing with people, whether it's formal changework, managing people, doing customer service. The reality is that we live in a society that needs healing, so however you spend your time, there are probably opportunities to remind others of their sense of wholeness.
In my own case, I suddenly realised that I was using the energy therapy to show off to others (“Look at this cool thing I can do. Hold still!”). This was not a healing intention, & also interfered with my relationship to the other person. Once I realised this, I let go of that unhelpful intention & set an intention for wholeness, & voila! My results got better & better.
I explore “The 3 Healing Eseentials” in depth on our new DVD set, The NLP Techniques Masterclass. If you're do changework with people, get your copy right away to ensure you give your clients the best experience & results possible. We've only produced 100 PAL & 100 NTSC copies, so order now to ensure you don't have to wait for the next run.
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/catalog/nlp-techniques-masterclass-dvd-set-p-170.html
Have a great week
To your success!
Your friend
Jamie
Jamie Smart
Jamie Smart
CEO
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
Feeling ripped off after accelerated prac or master prac?
WI received an email from an NLP Master Practitioner this week who explained that she'd attended an accelerated programme
& received her certificate, but that she didn't feel confident in her skills.
I understood completely. The first NLP practitioner & master prac programmes I attended were in very large groups of
several hundred people, & over a short period of time. I had an amazing experience, but didn't feel confident in my skills.
So I repeated all my training with smaller groups, & on modular programmes. The acceleration in my skills & confidence
was DRAMATIC.
It's with this in mind that we offer a 1/3 discount to anyone who's done Prac or Master Prac and wants to repeat it with
Salad. If you want to develop a superb set of skills, & the kind of congruent confidence that gets results fast, book your place now.
Our Master Prac programme starts on April 17, so call the booking hotline on 0845 650 1045 to ensure you don't miss out.
Click Here for More Details
© Copyright 2009. Jamie Smart. All Rights Reserved...
List of NLP Links freebies
Thanks for subscribing to Salad video alerts. Every time we launch a video we will send you an email alert so you can be one of the first to see it.
You have just been sent a 'Welcome' email with links to all the videos we've already launched, including the legendary 'Handshake Interrupt' hypnotic induction & much more.
For a full list of links check your email to see them now.
The Latest Hypnosis Video Clip: Set a Frame for Change http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cV-m8eFnVYc
The Latest NLP Video Clip: The Pizzawalk: Eliminating Hesitation with Metaphors & Nested Loops http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hMM0_0dXq4
http://www.therapeuticmetaphors.com/special.html
You can catch up on all of Jamie's previous NLP Tips at http://www.saladltd.co.uk/archive.htm
Salad Seminars Ltd Office 8, Leatherline House 71 Narrow Lane Aylestone Leicester LE2 8NA UK 0845 650 1045
You have just been sent a 'Welcome' email with links to all the videos we've already launched, including the legendary 'Handshake Interrupt' hypnotic induction & much more.
For a full list of links check your email to see them now.
The Latest Hypnosis Video Clip: Set a Frame for Change http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cV-m8eFnVYc
The Latest NLP Video Clip: The Pizzawalk: Eliminating Hesitation with Metaphors & Nested Loops http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hMM0_0dXq4
http://www.therapeuticmetaphors.com/special.html
You can catch up on all of Jamie's previous NLP Tips at http://www.saladltd.co.uk/archive.htm
Salad Seminars Ltd Office 8, Leatherline House 71 Narrow Lane Aylestone Leicester LE2 8NA UK 0845 650 1045
Using NLP with Children
Running Head: NLP with Children
The value of Neurolinguistic Programming with elementary school age children’s math skills.
LoLyn Fetzer, LPC
Argosy University
Abstract
The value of Neurolinguistic Programming with elementary school age children’s math skills will first define the concept of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), review the history, debunk the myths and describe NLP Metaphors. The experimental portion will introduce NLP metaphors to teachers and convince them to allow me to sit in on their classes during a math period when the benchmark skills are being tested. A post test will be given the students, followed by an NLP Metaphor with imbedded suggestions about the skills required, followed by a post test of the same math skills. The null hypothesis is: There is no quantifiable improvement of children’s math skills, as evaluated by pre and post tests, when given a specially crafted NLP metaphor, which includes the steps involved in the math skill following the pretest, when post tested after the metaphor.
Evaluation will be based on comparison of the scores on the two tests. If there is a significant quantifiable improvement of the math skills the conclusion will be that the NLP metaphor does have a positive impact on children’s math skills. Approximately 50 third grade students in different socioeconomic areas of Orem Utah will be tested. In order to generalize the results the activity should be repeated with a larger variety of students in various socioeconomic, cultural, language skills should be done in different parts of the world.
Null hypothesis: There is no significant quantifiable difference in the development of specific targeted math skills of the experimental group of children who are given the specially crafted NLP metaphor -- as opposed to those of the control group who allowed to rest and play for the same period of time -- as evaluated by pre and post tests.
Introduction to NLP
In this study I am introducing Neurolinguistic Programming as an essential component of education and counseling therapy. The various strategies of NLP are too important to be ignored by educators and therapist. Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP, is a collection of techniques that have been carefully studied, analyzed and developed into teachable skills by the men who began it, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, as well as the dozens that have followed each adding new techniques and skills to the umbrella that is Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP.
Null hypothesis: There is no quantifiable improvement of children’s math skills, as evaluated by pre and post tests, when given a specially crafted NLP metaphor, which includes the steps involved in the math skill, following the pretest when post tested after the metaphor.
The History of NLP
The History of NLP is the history of the subconscious or unconscious in psychology since the mid twentieth century, dating back to Milton Erickson. Fascinated with hypnotism, Erickson determined he could assist people in overcoming phobias and other neurosis. He observed other therapist and hypnotists in order to develop his own skills, but found himself unable to teach the skills. John Grinder and Richard Bandler observed therapists Milton Erickson, Virginia Satire and Fritz Perls in their very successful yet, different styles of therapies. This Mathematician and Linguist dissected the three therapists’ successful therapy sessions into steps, strategies and skills that could be taught, and of course, sold. Several companies have taken up the challenge each developing seminars, DVD training programs, hypnosis workshops, therapy cards on language, belief busting and speech patterns.
Andrew Derrington (1999) describes the creation of NLP in his title: “Observing innate gifts (which) make people shine at what they do led unexpectedly to a new form of therapy” (title, p 2). Derrington reviews the history of NLP, Grinder and Bandler, searching for better communication methods developed a new therapy as they began to understand the significance of what they were discovering observing the three prominent therapist (p 2). He reviews strategy of “becoming temporarily like the patient” through modeling the client in voice, body language and quality of word selection based on the senses (p 2).
Myths about NLP
Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP, has been known for good and evil among psychologists today. Sometimes it is because critics act as the ten blind men who described an elephant from the one part they touched. “It is like a rope.” one said,” no it is more like a fan,” said one holding the ears. “No it is like a huge rock,” explained the man holding a foot, and another insisted it was like a spear, as he held the tusks. Still another blind man exclaimed, “It is like a mountain!” as he pushed against the side of the elephant. The other five gave various definitions only from what they touched at the moment, not knowing about the other parts, and wondering why the others could be so very blind (Traditional oral folk story).
Among the critiques of NLP exist many myths to debunk. Perhaps the first myth to put to rest is that there is anything new under the sun. I have heard this was Plato’s sentiment, but he was plagiarizing (academic oral tradition). Even Bandler and Grinder openly explain that they selected strategies by observing the three most successful therapists of the time and developed the techniques into teachable skills. Initially that was what they were looking for, excellent communication skills, and they found them among the three great therapists who had learned their skills in education and through practice.
Another myth seems to be that NLP is no more than hocus pocus hypnosis. Not true; many of the techniques do not involve hypnosis techniques at all. Those which do are techniques for quick inducements; many are used for stage comedy performances, but are also used successfully to treat clients who seriously desire to change behaviors and thought patterns in their lives. There are excellent NLP techniques when paired with cognitive behavioral therapy, have brought about beneficial changes.
One myth which will prove false is that NLP is just another present day fad and will pass into the night like so many other mental health therapies. The objective of NLP developers is to develop all inclusive of techniques from all areas of psychology, business and coaching, involving the unconscious or subconscious. The fact that these techniques are used by marketing, advertisement, international businesses, sports coaches, and in all other walks of life by those who trained or not trained by NLP practitioners, makes it quite certain that the skills and techniques are here to stay. The name may change, but when the world has accepted techniques which work so well in so many areas, those skills and techniques are to be neither ignored nor forgotten.
Building Rapport
Dr. Pam Brown writes about NLP as it is used to improve rapport with patients, and explains how to use representational words to gain rapport within a client setting or in a regular conversation. NLP also is an aid in building rapport, sensory awareness, outcome thinking, behavioral flexibility and understanding. Learning awareness of the three styles of linguistic representation: kinesthetic, visual and auditory. Dr. Brown also touches on the topic of using all three different styles to teach, allowing all students to learn in their own style, which constitutes excellence in teaching.
It is with these rapport building techniques doctors have calmed and treated children. In medical articles such as “Hypnosis can help children with painful medical procedures” (Butler, 2005), and “Hypnosis reduces distress and duration of an invasive medical procedure for children” (Wood, J, A., 2006),” one is introduced to the use of hypnosis with children. It is common knowledge that rapport with the medical staff makes a positive difference in the recovery of children. Prayer circles and oral blessings have brought about miraculous healings through the power of positive suggestion to the child, giving assurance and building faith for the child to feel better, through which the pure power of positive thinking is frequently taught to children with chronic or critical illness.
Many of the techniques of hypnosis can be learned by therapists to enhance their rapport, their positive thinking, and their power to make positive suggestions to a child. These strategies do bring about changes in their behavior and social skills, as well as their academic level. This has been researched and proven empirically through activities designed to test each individual area (James, A. interview 2009). It is my challenge to pre and post test in an area of academic study, examining the results of NLP therapy on third grade students with bench mark math skills.
The experimental process
I plan to get permission to go into schools where I substitute teach, and pretest students’ skills at the benchmark level previous to using an NLP metaphor prepared especially for the activity. Testing the same skills with different problems previous to and following the metaphor will determine if this type of group talk therapy has efficacy in the schools. I am convinced this strategy will be successful, and that the skill should be taught to every school teacher and parent to increase the skill level of children of all ages. That would bring about the objective of “No Child Left Behind.” My null hypothesis is “There will be no change among student’s math skills as measured by a pre and post test after hearing an NLP metaphor designed for math learning.”
In an interview by email with Ashley James, she explains their program in Las Vegas, Nevada:
We teach a series of techniques that Tad James has developed though his understanding of NLP and working with children over the last 26 years. As a result after doing about 30 minutes with the child their grades over the next semester go up 1.5. That means if they were a C they are now a B+. Every NLP Practitioner Training we have parents and teachers come take the training just so they can learn these tools. They are so powerful often the children’s doctors in working with their parents take them off or lower their dose of the “ADD” drugs they are on. These tools we teach work with the child’s conscious and unconscious minds to teach them to focus, absorb information easily and enjoy recalling information easily, even long words with many syllables. We actually teach a specific tool on become an excellent speller. Kids after practicing this way with our tools get 100% on spelling tests (James, A. interview, 2009).
Review of the Literature of Neurolinguistic Programming
Available Literature
There is a dearth of literature on using NLP with children, and regarding NLP metaphors for children. This review is of the history and use of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) consisting mostly of articles in professional magazines and newspaper interviews or observations, and gives an overview of the many uses and innovative changes in NLP as used with adults. I learned about NLP from a friend in the early 1990’s. I was successfully hypnotized by him, then allowed him to hypnotize my children, while I observed and attempted to model the process. I write many children’s metaphors; they are stories I tell on the spur of the moment as an elementary school counselor in classes, or groups or individual settings, assessing the needs of the children, composing an oral story around them, using imbedded commands, and guided relaxation to involve them in a pleasant daydream state (1994, Arizona Strategies).
:
Definition
Walter and Bayat explain in “Neurolinguistic programming: the keys to success,” with which a therapist or client can become successful by modeling another who is excellent in an objective area. There are two main keys to success. The first key is setting a goal about which the authors write:
“be positive, be detailed, be realistic, set criteria for success and be prepared to make personal sacrifice. Number two key to success, is creating the correct model by paying attention to beliefs, physiology and strategy. Success is more likely if you define clearly what you want and take the appropriate steps to bring about your desired goal” (p 253).
In their article,“Neurolinguistic Programming, keys to success,” Walter and Bayal explain Verbal communication in NLP. According to their definition, “NLP is a system that uses the language of the mind to achieve our specific and desired outcomes consistently” (p 63). These authors describe the sensory styles and code them, explaining the process as “a tool to help us understand these programs and use them to meet our desired goals.” John Grinder and Richard Bandler, as all writers explain, were looking at therapists to understand how they “achieved excellent results” in communication (p 163). They studied the techniques of three ultra successful and popular therapists, Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls, and Milton Erickson around 1970. They began to use the data they gathered on the underlying techniques and discovered they could be used more broadly, and in the process Grinder and Bandler assimilated the theories into NLP.
Usages in non therapy settings
Since then, NLP has been used successfully in all areas, such as coaching sports, sales, advertising and visualization of winning. Many politicians have been trained with NLP in non-verbal communication. By learning to listen and communicate matching the kinesthetic, audio and visual languages people use, and matching them, therapists can become better communicators and establish better rapport with clients and others.
In “Temperament and character types” by Walter and Bayal (2003), temperament and character types are described, explaining that the character of the individual with whom the therapist communicates can be determined by knowing personality types. Understanding the personality differences encountered with people one meets daily might lead “to an understanding of our individual strengths and weaknesses” (p 204). Not only can recognizing character and personality differences help in communication with others, but in communicating with one’s self, as well. These authors make the claim that understanding one’s character traits and temperament may be a way of looking at career choices that are a best fit for the individual. Using the Myers-Briggs type indicator and the 16 major patterns of action developed in 1950’s Walter and Bayal have created a much shorter test which they claim gets the same results and included the test in the article. The test can help a person assess strengths and weaknesses, improve interaction with others. Recognizing these style differences can make a person a better communicator, and improve interaction. (figure 3)
David Pratt continues defining Neurolinguistic Programming beyond improved communication that Bandler and Grinder recognized. “It has evolved into a way of enhancing performance and releasing personal potential” (p 28). Using NLP for building relationships and in business negotiations has become common place. The creators of additional NLP strategies are trained practitioners who analyze top performers in their various activities, with the realization that within that which one person can do skillfully, there are skills which can be broken down and learned by others. “In ‘NLP speak’, the meaning of your communication is the response you get” (p 28). A therapist, salesman or coach can gain rapport immediately by identifying and making use of these techniques, using them to begin a conversation or lecture. Through modeling, or copying the body language of another person, a listener is able to adopt a similar style in these physical areas: Posture, movement and gesture, levels of breathing and quality, tone of voice. Again the three linguistic “preferred thinking styles” are considered: visual, auditory and kinesthetics.
“The estimate is that about 50-55 percent of people use a visual preferred thinking style.” Those who use auditory primarily interact with the world through sound. The use of kinesthetics to interact with the world is used by people who use mainly emotional and physical gestures, using such expressions like “fill me in with the details’ and ‘how would you feel if the role was reversed” (p 28).
From a marketing point of view, John Andy Wood informs the reader, “rapport and trust develop through synchronization of models of communication between the sender and receiver.” The study demonstrates the inclusion of neuroscience using “three independent, but related studies, to identify nonverbal cues associated with the representational systems, to test if descriptions of those nonverbal signals influence trustworthiness assessments, and, finally to test if those nonverbal signals trigger buyer’s positive assessment of the salesperson trust-building characteristics as well as trustworthiness (title abstract, p 197).
NLP Hypnosis
“Programming the mind” is the title Sarah Foster uses in describing a single personal NLP therapy session in which she became totally disarmed and let go of all the barriers she had built up, learning to recognize her own importance and significance. She claims to have felt more at peace during and after the NLP session; she concludes by saying: “I’m now more conscious of myself and why I do the things I do and feel; I’m still a work in progress”(p 15).
Hypnotist Paul Mckenna, who works with Britain’s top firms, is the subject of James Rossiter’s article. On Mckenna’s TV show (site article and year add to references), audience participation is invited, taking participants on stage Mckenna uses hypnosis for “good, light-hearted fun, putting them under, making them do things that they’ll later regret when they get to see the video” (p 1). He also teaches senior executives of some of UK’s largest corporations. His goal is to teach self improvement using NLP hypnosis. Teaching company executives to innovate is one part of his program of personal development, and emotional literacy. He is billed as a “happiness consultant” (p 3). He strongly emphasizes “hypnosis is a communication skill, not a magic power...helping you to step out of the limitations of mindsets, to get out of the problems you are in” (p 2).
In the 2006 edition of The Optician, Neurolinguistic Practitioner, Anthony Collinge, writes “programming is a method of matching the way a patient thinks, to improve communication” (head note, p 28). Neurolinguistic Programming, which has become only two words somewhere along the historical times line, is a method of learning how to observe patients, voice, expressions, body language and posture to gain rapport with them. In business or other areas like coaching, it is a way to train the clients using these same techniques. He claims people are frustrated by a listener who speaks faster or slower, louder or softer and the difference in pitch of their voice. This is not to say mimic the speaker, but matching in close proximity his mannerisms, posture and speech develops rapport. To avoid offending a speaker one might utilize cross-matching. The process of breaking rapport to end a meeting is to use body posture opposite the clients, such as standing with a hand on the doorknob, or near the door. “Even just sitting up straight can signal that it is time to move on” (p 29). On the question if these techniques are manipulative the answer is yes, they definitely do manipulate people’s thoughts for good or bad, however therapists and educators have an ethical responsibility to use them for the client’s good. Feelings, hearing and sight are three of the main linguistic “representational styles” (p 29). “If you can reply to a student or client using the same type of language then you are far more likely to communicate effectively with them” (p 29).
In Collinge’s (2006 title??) article, the reader is given guide lines for evaluating a conversation; this includes replaying the conversation from the perspective of oneself. Then again, observing it mentally from the speaker’s point of view, and finally from a neutral observer’s view point. Assimilating this assessment helps a therapist avoid making similar mistakes in another conversation. There are guides for assessing eye movement and body language, and clues to help differentiate left and right handed people.
The area of NLP appears to be constantly changing, updating and revaluating methods. The best way to get a quick overview, in addition to this paper, is to use the references and watch a few minutes of hypnosis, guided imagery and discussion about different uses of NLP. It is with this training that I will write my dissertation, involving the study of children changing behaviors after an NLP metaphor is presented to the children regarding the skills which will be tested.
NLP Metaphors
To conclude and bring the topic of NLP to the use of metaphors, I review two articles on NLP Metaphors which are essential in any profession. Jamie Smart describes “The Magic of Metaphors” (2009): “When I really began to master the ultimate hypnotic pattern.... magic started to happen” (title, p 1).
Very often as a school counselor I had teachers convinced that was I working magic. Because these were public schools, we never call it hypnosis, only guided imagery, which changed the lives of dozens of children. Jamie Smart tells of his experience in high school when he and his friends could get their French teacher to tell them risqué’ and exciting” stories by asking question which “got the teacher into a state where he suddenly found himself wanting to tell stories” (p 2).
According to Smart:
“hearing a story is anchored to that sense of warmth, safety and possibility we experience as children and when you hear a story; it sends a message to your neurology that says: ‘sit back, relax, and enjoy this ride all the way to the end” (p 2).
He describes his first metaphor: “I was working as a project manager of a multi million pound organizational change programmers” (p 2). Having just launched a business with a critical global computer system, “the director demanded to know what was wrong with the piece of processing” (p 2). Smart gave a technical explanation, and then in answer to a blank look, he replied: “There’s nothing wrong with it – it’s like the coalminer’s canary,” and the director visibly relaxed and accepted his explanation. Jamie enlightens the reader by explaining:
Coal miners used to take a canary down into the coal mine with them. If the canary died, the coalminers knew there was gas in the mine, and they had to get out. He understood the metaphor instantly, and we were able to move on” (p 2).
Jamie Smart describes the power of metaphor, listing many ways it is of value in promoting is seminar:
Captivate people’s attention; get them to become utterly fascinated. Speak directly to the unconscious mind; illustrate points effortlessly; develop a reputation as a clear thinker and superb communicator; get people to take off their amour, open up their minds. Easily get rid of objections and close the deal; change the meaning of literally anything; induce trance in listeners, make them more suggestible; helping clients learn more deeply; do covert change work and healing; distract the conscious mind and say, ‘I want to communicate directly with your unconscious mind,’ so you can guide the person’s attention in the direction you want to take it (p 2 paraphrased).
Smart presents a quote by Steven Heller, PhD and top hypnotherapies from Heller’s book, Monsters & Magical Sticks: there’s no such thing as hypnosis:
It is my belief that all presenting problems and symptoms are really metaphors that contain a story about what the problem really is. It is, therefore, the responsibility of the therapist to create metaphors that contain a story that contains the possible solution. The metaphor is the message... Hypnosis is, in and of itself, a metaphor inside a metaphor.... (p 5).
From the three hour recording of NLP Metaphor training offered by Jamie Smart, a subscriber might get acquainted with metaphor,
getting comfortable with the unfamiliar; therapists can use metaphors to deliver messages to people. Learn how to generate incredibly powerful metaphors on the fly; be confident in using metaphors in business meetings; tap into the incredibly powerful ‘me too’ phenomenon; key to the unconscious mind; and watch examples of conscious / unconscious dissociation. “Metaphors are the perfect camouflage for experimenting with NLP language patterns. Stacking creates a metaphor for someone’s problem; telling a relevant story is an essential skill (p 6, paraphrased).
“Of course, Smart wants to sell the reader on his products, so many imbedded commands are used throughout the article
David Gordon, one of the co-developers of NLP, himself demonstrates the Therapeutic Metaphor. He presents a brief history of Milton Erickson’s fame as a hypnotist; his student, Ernest Rossi, observed Milton’s work with clients, “recording the hypnotic induction step by step in the book, hypnotic realities” (p 1). Many did not recognize the patterns of hypnosis and could not copy Erickson. Milton Erickson told specially constructed stories to apply to individual clients. In 1944 Erickson wrote a paper “Revealing his process,” and yet, his process was so difficult and complex, virtually no one was able to use Therapeutic Metaphor as a treatment modality other than Erickson.
David Gordon came along and cracked the code and made Therapeutic Metaphor accessible to all. Gordon explains that Metaphors are ‘more than a way to talk about an experience. Metaphors are our experience’ (p 6).
The use of metaphors changes the way a person perceives and makes sense out of the things happening around him. They can be powerful forces to shift perception as well as experience. Through metaphors, people can transform their behavior. I believe the stories I used in the schools with children and their outcome were relevant proof of this statement, and it is my contention that the stories will work with academic learning as well as with social and personal skills.
By telling stories, a therapist can totally bring about overt or covert change. Many see themselves as they hear stories and even in many cases, become a part of the story. Gordon explains how metaphors work, comparing the telling of them to planting a seed. He explains, “Some spring forth immediately while others only work over time” (p 2). He describes two types of metaphors, isomorphic and universal. In the first there is a one on one relationship between every event in the story and the real world situation (p 7). “The universal metaphor is represented with the real world on top and the metaphoric world on bottom” (p 3). When a client cannot find a solution in his own mind, the therapist tells a metaphoric world which includes the client’s problem and a solution. Through the subconscious the client might process the solution and make it real in his own life. From the metaphor the client creates a solution which is the best one for the client and his own life. I will be using the latter type of metaphor in my adventure.
References
Bandler, R. Richard Bandler, the Hypnotist (2009).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYU7dkG6DtA&feature=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s941m7CKft4&feature=related
Hypnosis - Hypnotic Handshake Interrupt demonstration http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6cvzu6PiUs&feature=related
Hypnosis, personal power induction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSGnqVBZip8&feature=channel
Butler, L.D., Symons, B. K., Henderson, S.L., Shortliffe, L.D., Spiegel, D. (2005). Hypnosis Can Help Children with painful Medical Procedures. Piediatrics, Jan 2005. Vol.115 Issue 1, p 77-e85 (AN 15390240) 2005. Child Health Alert, Fet2005,Vol.23,93-4, 20; (AN15891571)
Collinge, A. I. (2006); Jan 27. 2006. Vol 231, iss 6036; pg 28, 2 pgs. Copyright Reed Business
Information UK Jan 27, 2006
Ditts, R. (1998). copyright by Robert Dilts., Santa Cruz, CA.“Richard Bandler Bio Page. http://222.nlpu.com/bandbio.htm
Derrington, A. (1999). Maps that show the paths to excellence: PSYCH YOUSELF UP
“A study of innate gifts that make people shine at what they do led unexpectedly to a new form of therapy”. Financial Times. London (UK): Sep 11, 1999. p 2. Copyright F. T. Business Enterprises Limited (FTBE) Sep 11, 1999.
Foster, S. (2007) Programming the mind [Echofeast Edition] Northern Echo. Darlington
(UK); Apr 17, 2007. p 15.
James, A. (20009). Sales Manage The Tad James Co Ashley James" ashley@nlpcoaching.com
To: lolyn123@comcast.netSent: Monday, February 23, 2009 9:06:44 AM GMT -07:00 US/Canada MountainSubject: RE: NLP with children
Grinder, J. (2006). Copyright (c) 2006 JohnGrinder.com
Jacobs, L. L. (1995). TEACHER'S EDITION (Version 1.4) Copyright 1995 Az Creative Strategies & LoLyn Jacobs
Pratt, D. (2005). Think, act and win. Supply Management: April 14, 2005,10,8; ABI/INFORM Global.
Smart, J. (2009). “When I really began to master the ultimate hypnotic pattern, Magic started to happen.” http://www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp-tip/294.html
YouTube: SaladHypnosis on You Tube, http://www.nlpedia.com/
bounce@infusionmail.com http://www.saladltd.co.uk/, personalchange@aweber.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYU7dkG6DtA&feature=related
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. ( 2003). Neurolinguistic Programming: Verbal communication.
Student BMJ. London May 2003 (Vol. 11 p163).Walter, J., Bayat, A. (2003).
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. ( 2003). Neurolinguistic programming: The keys to success. Student BMJ: July 2003, 11, Research Library p 252.
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. Neurolinguistic programming: Temperament and Character types. Student BMJ. London. Jun 2003. Vol. 11 pg 204.
Wood, J.A. (2006).
Author (year), Hypnosis Reduces Distress and Duration of an Invasive Medical Procedure for Children. NLP Revisited: Nonverbal communications and signals of trustworthiness. The Journal of Personal Selling and Sales Mangement. New York: Spring 2006. Vol.26, Iss.2; p197.
The value of Neurolinguistic Programming with elementary school age children’s math skills.
LoLyn Fetzer, LPC
Argosy University
Abstract
The value of Neurolinguistic Programming with elementary school age children’s math skills will first define the concept of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), review the history, debunk the myths and describe NLP Metaphors. The experimental portion will introduce NLP metaphors to teachers and convince them to allow me to sit in on their classes during a math period when the benchmark skills are being tested. A post test will be given the students, followed by an NLP Metaphor with imbedded suggestions about the skills required, followed by a post test of the same math skills. The null hypothesis is: There is no quantifiable improvement of children’s math skills, as evaluated by pre and post tests, when given a specially crafted NLP metaphor, which includes the steps involved in the math skill following the pretest, when post tested after the metaphor.
Evaluation will be based on comparison of the scores on the two tests. If there is a significant quantifiable improvement of the math skills the conclusion will be that the NLP metaphor does have a positive impact on children’s math skills. Approximately 50 third grade students in different socioeconomic areas of Orem Utah will be tested. In order to generalize the results the activity should be repeated with a larger variety of students in various socioeconomic, cultural, language skills should be done in different parts of the world.
Null hypothesis: There is no significant quantifiable difference in the development of specific targeted math skills of the experimental group of children who are given the specially crafted NLP metaphor -- as opposed to those of the control group who allowed to rest and play for the same period of time -- as evaluated by pre and post tests.
Introduction to NLP
In this study I am introducing Neurolinguistic Programming as an essential component of education and counseling therapy. The various strategies of NLP are too important to be ignored by educators and therapist. Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP, is a collection of techniques that have been carefully studied, analyzed and developed into teachable skills by the men who began it, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, as well as the dozens that have followed each adding new techniques and skills to the umbrella that is Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP.
Null hypothesis: There is no quantifiable improvement of children’s math skills, as evaluated by pre and post tests, when given a specially crafted NLP metaphor, which includes the steps involved in the math skill, following the pretest when post tested after the metaphor.
The History of NLP
The History of NLP is the history of the subconscious or unconscious in psychology since the mid twentieth century, dating back to Milton Erickson. Fascinated with hypnotism, Erickson determined he could assist people in overcoming phobias and other neurosis. He observed other therapist and hypnotists in order to develop his own skills, but found himself unable to teach the skills. John Grinder and Richard Bandler observed therapists Milton Erickson, Virginia Satire and Fritz Perls in their very successful yet, different styles of therapies. This Mathematician and Linguist dissected the three therapists’ successful therapy sessions into steps, strategies and skills that could be taught, and of course, sold. Several companies have taken up the challenge each developing seminars, DVD training programs, hypnosis workshops, therapy cards on language, belief busting and speech patterns.
Andrew Derrington (1999) describes the creation of NLP in his title: “Observing innate gifts (which) make people shine at what they do led unexpectedly to a new form of therapy” (title, p 2). Derrington reviews the history of NLP, Grinder and Bandler, searching for better communication methods developed a new therapy as they began to understand the significance of what they were discovering observing the three prominent therapist (p 2). He reviews strategy of “becoming temporarily like the patient” through modeling the client in voice, body language and quality of word selection based on the senses (p 2).
Myths about NLP
Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP, has been known for good and evil among psychologists today. Sometimes it is because critics act as the ten blind men who described an elephant from the one part they touched. “It is like a rope.” one said,” no it is more like a fan,” said one holding the ears. “No it is like a huge rock,” explained the man holding a foot, and another insisted it was like a spear, as he held the tusks. Still another blind man exclaimed, “It is like a mountain!” as he pushed against the side of the elephant. The other five gave various definitions only from what they touched at the moment, not knowing about the other parts, and wondering why the others could be so very blind (Traditional oral folk story).
Among the critiques of NLP exist many myths to debunk. Perhaps the first myth to put to rest is that there is anything new under the sun. I have heard this was Plato’s sentiment, but he was plagiarizing (academic oral tradition). Even Bandler and Grinder openly explain that they selected strategies by observing the three most successful therapists of the time and developed the techniques into teachable skills. Initially that was what they were looking for, excellent communication skills, and they found them among the three great therapists who had learned their skills in education and through practice.
Another myth seems to be that NLP is no more than hocus pocus hypnosis. Not true; many of the techniques do not involve hypnosis techniques at all. Those which do are techniques for quick inducements; many are used for stage comedy performances, but are also used successfully to treat clients who seriously desire to change behaviors and thought patterns in their lives. There are excellent NLP techniques when paired with cognitive behavioral therapy, have brought about beneficial changes.
One myth which will prove false is that NLP is just another present day fad and will pass into the night like so many other mental health therapies. The objective of NLP developers is to develop all inclusive of techniques from all areas of psychology, business and coaching, involving the unconscious or subconscious. The fact that these techniques are used by marketing, advertisement, international businesses, sports coaches, and in all other walks of life by those who trained or not trained by NLP practitioners, makes it quite certain that the skills and techniques are here to stay. The name may change, but when the world has accepted techniques which work so well in so many areas, those skills and techniques are to be neither ignored nor forgotten.
Building Rapport
Dr. Pam Brown writes about NLP as it is used to improve rapport with patients, and explains how to use representational words to gain rapport within a client setting or in a regular conversation. NLP also is an aid in building rapport, sensory awareness, outcome thinking, behavioral flexibility and understanding. Learning awareness of the three styles of linguistic representation: kinesthetic, visual and auditory. Dr. Brown also touches on the topic of using all three different styles to teach, allowing all students to learn in their own style, which constitutes excellence in teaching.
It is with these rapport building techniques doctors have calmed and treated children. In medical articles such as “Hypnosis can help children with painful medical procedures” (Butler, 2005), and “Hypnosis reduces distress and duration of an invasive medical procedure for children” (Wood, J, A., 2006),” one is introduced to the use of hypnosis with children. It is common knowledge that rapport with the medical staff makes a positive difference in the recovery of children. Prayer circles and oral blessings have brought about miraculous healings through the power of positive suggestion to the child, giving assurance and building faith for the child to feel better, through which the pure power of positive thinking is frequently taught to children with chronic or critical illness.
Many of the techniques of hypnosis can be learned by therapists to enhance their rapport, their positive thinking, and their power to make positive suggestions to a child. These strategies do bring about changes in their behavior and social skills, as well as their academic level. This has been researched and proven empirically through activities designed to test each individual area (James, A. interview 2009). It is my challenge to pre and post test in an area of academic study, examining the results of NLP therapy on third grade students with bench mark math skills.
The experimental process
I plan to get permission to go into schools where I substitute teach, and pretest students’ skills at the benchmark level previous to using an NLP metaphor prepared especially for the activity. Testing the same skills with different problems previous to and following the metaphor will determine if this type of group talk therapy has efficacy in the schools. I am convinced this strategy will be successful, and that the skill should be taught to every school teacher and parent to increase the skill level of children of all ages. That would bring about the objective of “No Child Left Behind.” My null hypothesis is “There will be no change among student’s math skills as measured by a pre and post test after hearing an NLP metaphor designed for math learning.”
In an interview by email with Ashley James, she explains their program in Las Vegas, Nevada:
We teach a series of techniques that Tad James has developed though his understanding of NLP and working with children over the last 26 years. As a result after doing about 30 minutes with the child their grades over the next semester go up 1.5. That means if they were a C they are now a B+. Every NLP Practitioner Training we have parents and teachers come take the training just so they can learn these tools. They are so powerful often the children’s doctors in working with their parents take them off or lower their dose of the “ADD” drugs they are on. These tools we teach work with the child’s conscious and unconscious minds to teach them to focus, absorb information easily and enjoy recalling information easily, even long words with many syllables. We actually teach a specific tool on become an excellent speller. Kids after practicing this way with our tools get 100% on spelling tests (James, A. interview, 2009).
Review of the Literature of Neurolinguistic Programming
Available Literature
There is a dearth of literature on using NLP with children, and regarding NLP metaphors for children. This review is of the history and use of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) consisting mostly of articles in professional magazines and newspaper interviews or observations, and gives an overview of the many uses and innovative changes in NLP as used with adults. I learned about NLP from a friend in the early 1990’s. I was successfully hypnotized by him, then allowed him to hypnotize my children, while I observed and attempted to model the process. I write many children’s metaphors; they are stories I tell on the spur of the moment as an elementary school counselor in classes, or groups or individual settings, assessing the needs of the children, composing an oral story around them, using imbedded commands, and guided relaxation to involve them in a pleasant daydream state (1994, Arizona Strategies).
:
Definition
Walter and Bayat explain in “Neurolinguistic programming: the keys to success,” with which a therapist or client can become successful by modeling another who is excellent in an objective area. There are two main keys to success. The first key is setting a goal about which the authors write:
“be positive, be detailed, be realistic, set criteria for success and be prepared to make personal sacrifice. Number two key to success, is creating the correct model by paying attention to beliefs, physiology and strategy. Success is more likely if you define clearly what you want and take the appropriate steps to bring about your desired goal” (p 253).
In their article,“Neurolinguistic Programming, keys to success,” Walter and Bayal explain Verbal communication in NLP. According to their definition, “NLP is a system that uses the language of the mind to achieve our specific and desired outcomes consistently” (p 63). These authors describe the sensory styles and code them, explaining the process as “a tool to help us understand these programs and use them to meet our desired goals.” John Grinder and Richard Bandler, as all writers explain, were looking at therapists to understand how they “achieved excellent results” in communication (p 163). They studied the techniques of three ultra successful and popular therapists, Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls, and Milton Erickson around 1970. They began to use the data they gathered on the underlying techniques and discovered they could be used more broadly, and in the process Grinder and Bandler assimilated the theories into NLP.
Usages in non therapy settings
Since then, NLP has been used successfully in all areas, such as coaching sports, sales, advertising and visualization of winning. Many politicians have been trained with NLP in non-verbal communication. By learning to listen and communicate matching the kinesthetic, audio and visual languages people use, and matching them, therapists can become better communicators and establish better rapport with clients and others.
In “Temperament and character types” by Walter and Bayal (2003), temperament and character types are described, explaining that the character of the individual with whom the therapist communicates can be determined by knowing personality types. Understanding the personality differences encountered with people one meets daily might lead “to an understanding of our individual strengths and weaknesses” (p 204). Not only can recognizing character and personality differences help in communication with others, but in communicating with one’s self, as well. These authors make the claim that understanding one’s character traits and temperament may be a way of looking at career choices that are a best fit for the individual. Using the Myers-Briggs type indicator and the 16 major patterns of action developed in 1950’s Walter and Bayal have created a much shorter test which they claim gets the same results and included the test in the article. The test can help a person assess strengths and weaknesses, improve interaction with others. Recognizing these style differences can make a person a better communicator, and improve interaction. (figure 3)
David Pratt continues defining Neurolinguistic Programming beyond improved communication that Bandler and Grinder recognized. “It has evolved into a way of enhancing performance and releasing personal potential” (p 28). Using NLP for building relationships and in business negotiations has become common place. The creators of additional NLP strategies are trained practitioners who analyze top performers in their various activities, with the realization that within that which one person can do skillfully, there are skills which can be broken down and learned by others. “In ‘NLP speak’, the meaning of your communication is the response you get” (p 28). A therapist, salesman or coach can gain rapport immediately by identifying and making use of these techniques, using them to begin a conversation or lecture. Through modeling, or copying the body language of another person, a listener is able to adopt a similar style in these physical areas: Posture, movement and gesture, levels of breathing and quality, tone of voice. Again the three linguistic “preferred thinking styles” are considered: visual, auditory and kinesthetics.
“The estimate is that about 50-55 percent of people use a visual preferred thinking style.” Those who use auditory primarily interact with the world through sound. The use of kinesthetics to interact with the world is used by people who use mainly emotional and physical gestures, using such expressions like “fill me in with the details’ and ‘how would you feel if the role was reversed” (p 28).
From a marketing point of view, John Andy Wood informs the reader, “rapport and trust develop through synchronization of models of communication between the sender and receiver.” The study demonstrates the inclusion of neuroscience using “three independent, but related studies, to identify nonverbal cues associated with the representational systems, to test if descriptions of those nonverbal signals influence trustworthiness assessments, and, finally to test if those nonverbal signals trigger buyer’s positive assessment of the salesperson trust-building characteristics as well as trustworthiness (title abstract, p 197).
NLP Hypnosis
“Programming the mind” is the title Sarah Foster uses in describing a single personal NLP therapy session in which she became totally disarmed and let go of all the barriers she had built up, learning to recognize her own importance and significance. She claims to have felt more at peace during and after the NLP session; she concludes by saying: “I’m now more conscious of myself and why I do the things I do and feel; I’m still a work in progress”(p 15).
Hypnotist Paul Mckenna, who works with Britain’s top firms, is the subject of James Rossiter’s article. On Mckenna’s TV show (site article and year add to references), audience participation is invited, taking participants on stage Mckenna uses hypnosis for “good, light-hearted fun, putting them under, making them do things that they’ll later regret when they get to see the video” (p 1). He also teaches senior executives of some of UK’s largest corporations. His goal is to teach self improvement using NLP hypnosis. Teaching company executives to innovate is one part of his program of personal development, and emotional literacy. He is billed as a “happiness consultant” (p 3). He strongly emphasizes “hypnosis is a communication skill, not a magic power...helping you to step out of the limitations of mindsets, to get out of the problems you are in” (p 2).
In the 2006 edition of The Optician, Neurolinguistic Practitioner, Anthony Collinge, writes “programming is a method of matching the way a patient thinks, to improve communication” (head note, p 28). Neurolinguistic Programming, which has become only two words somewhere along the historical times line, is a method of learning how to observe patients, voice, expressions, body language and posture to gain rapport with them. In business or other areas like coaching, it is a way to train the clients using these same techniques. He claims people are frustrated by a listener who speaks faster or slower, louder or softer and the difference in pitch of their voice. This is not to say mimic the speaker, but matching in close proximity his mannerisms, posture and speech develops rapport. To avoid offending a speaker one might utilize cross-matching. The process of breaking rapport to end a meeting is to use body posture opposite the clients, such as standing with a hand on the doorknob, or near the door. “Even just sitting up straight can signal that it is time to move on” (p 29). On the question if these techniques are manipulative the answer is yes, they definitely do manipulate people’s thoughts for good or bad, however therapists and educators have an ethical responsibility to use them for the client’s good. Feelings, hearing and sight are three of the main linguistic “representational styles” (p 29). “If you can reply to a student or client using the same type of language then you are far more likely to communicate effectively with them” (p 29).
In Collinge’s (2006 title??) article, the reader is given guide lines for evaluating a conversation; this includes replaying the conversation from the perspective of oneself. Then again, observing it mentally from the speaker’s point of view, and finally from a neutral observer’s view point. Assimilating this assessment helps a therapist avoid making similar mistakes in another conversation. There are guides for assessing eye movement and body language, and clues to help differentiate left and right handed people.
The area of NLP appears to be constantly changing, updating and revaluating methods. The best way to get a quick overview, in addition to this paper, is to use the references and watch a few minutes of hypnosis, guided imagery and discussion about different uses of NLP. It is with this training that I will write my dissertation, involving the study of children changing behaviors after an NLP metaphor is presented to the children regarding the skills which will be tested.
NLP Metaphors
To conclude and bring the topic of NLP to the use of metaphors, I review two articles on NLP Metaphors which are essential in any profession. Jamie Smart describes “The Magic of Metaphors” (2009): “When I really began to master the ultimate hypnotic pattern.... magic started to happen” (title, p 1).
Very often as a school counselor I had teachers convinced that was I working magic. Because these were public schools, we never call it hypnosis, only guided imagery, which changed the lives of dozens of children. Jamie Smart tells of his experience in high school when he and his friends could get their French teacher to tell them risqué’ and exciting” stories by asking question which “got the teacher into a state where he suddenly found himself wanting to tell stories” (p 2).
According to Smart:
“hearing a story is anchored to that sense of warmth, safety and possibility we experience as children and when you hear a story; it sends a message to your neurology that says: ‘sit back, relax, and enjoy this ride all the way to the end” (p 2).
He describes his first metaphor: “I was working as a project manager of a multi million pound organizational change programmers” (p 2). Having just launched a business with a critical global computer system, “the director demanded to know what was wrong with the piece of processing” (p 2). Smart gave a technical explanation, and then in answer to a blank look, he replied: “There’s nothing wrong with it – it’s like the coalminer’s canary,” and the director visibly relaxed and accepted his explanation. Jamie enlightens the reader by explaining:
Coal miners used to take a canary down into the coal mine with them. If the canary died, the coalminers knew there was gas in the mine, and they had to get out. He understood the metaphor instantly, and we were able to move on” (p 2).
Jamie Smart describes the power of metaphor, listing many ways it is of value in promoting is seminar:
Captivate people’s attention; get them to become utterly fascinated. Speak directly to the unconscious mind; illustrate points effortlessly; develop a reputation as a clear thinker and superb communicator; get people to take off their amour, open up their minds. Easily get rid of objections and close the deal; change the meaning of literally anything; induce trance in listeners, make them more suggestible; helping clients learn more deeply; do covert change work and healing; distract the conscious mind and say, ‘I want to communicate directly with your unconscious mind,’ so you can guide the person’s attention in the direction you want to take it (p 2 paraphrased).
Smart presents a quote by Steven Heller, PhD and top hypnotherapies from Heller’s book, Monsters & Magical Sticks: there’s no such thing as hypnosis:
It is my belief that all presenting problems and symptoms are really metaphors that contain a story about what the problem really is. It is, therefore, the responsibility of the therapist to create metaphors that contain a story that contains the possible solution. The metaphor is the message... Hypnosis is, in and of itself, a metaphor inside a metaphor.... (p 5).
From the three hour recording of NLP Metaphor training offered by Jamie Smart, a subscriber might get acquainted with metaphor,
getting comfortable with the unfamiliar; therapists can use metaphors to deliver messages to people. Learn how to generate incredibly powerful metaphors on the fly; be confident in using metaphors in business meetings; tap into the incredibly powerful ‘me too’ phenomenon; key to the unconscious mind; and watch examples of conscious / unconscious dissociation. “Metaphors are the perfect camouflage for experimenting with NLP language patterns. Stacking creates a metaphor for someone’s problem; telling a relevant story is an essential skill (p 6, paraphrased).
“Of course, Smart wants to sell the reader on his products, so many imbedded commands are used throughout the article
David Gordon, one of the co-developers of NLP, himself demonstrates the Therapeutic Metaphor. He presents a brief history of Milton Erickson’s fame as a hypnotist; his student, Ernest Rossi, observed Milton’s work with clients, “recording the hypnotic induction step by step in the book, hypnotic realities” (p 1). Many did not recognize the patterns of hypnosis and could not copy Erickson. Milton Erickson told specially constructed stories to apply to individual clients. In 1944 Erickson wrote a paper “Revealing his process,” and yet, his process was so difficult and complex, virtually no one was able to use Therapeutic Metaphor as a treatment modality other than Erickson.
David Gordon came along and cracked the code and made Therapeutic Metaphor accessible to all. Gordon explains that Metaphors are ‘more than a way to talk about an experience. Metaphors are our experience’ (p 6).
The use of metaphors changes the way a person perceives and makes sense out of the things happening around him. They can be powerful forces to shift perception as well as experience. Through metaphors, people can transform their behavior. I believe the stories I used in the schools with children and their outcome were relevant proof of this statement, and it is my contention that the stories will work with academic learning as well as with social and personal skills.
By telling stories, a therapist can totally bring about overt or covert change. Many see themselves as they hear stories and even in many cases, become a part of the story. Gordon explains how metaphors work, comparing the telling of them to planting a seed. He explains, “Some spring forth immediately while others only work over time” (p 2). He describes two types of metaphors, isomorphic and universal. In the first there is a one on one relationship between every event in the story and the real world situation (p 7). “The universal metaphor is represented with the real world on top and the metaphoric world on bottom” (p 3). When a client cannot find a solution in his own mind, the therapist tells a metaphoric world which includes the client’s problem and a solution. Through the subconscious the client might process the solution and make it real in his own life. From the metaphor the client creates a solution which is the best one for the client and his own life. I will be using the latter type of metaphor in my adventure.
References
Bandler, R. Richard Bandler, the Hypnotist (2009).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYU7dkG6DtA&feature=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s941m7CKft4&feature=related
Hypnosis - Hypnotic Handshake Interrupt demonstration http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6cvzu6PiUs&feature=related
Hypnosis, personal power induction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSGnqVBZip8&feature=channel
Butler, L.D., Symons, B. K., Henderson, S.L., Shortliffe, L.D., Spiegel, D. (2005). Hypnosis Can Help Children with painful Medical Procedures. Piediatrics, Jan 2005. Vol.115 Issue 1, p 77-e85 (AN 15390240) 2005. Child Health Alert, Fet2005,Vol.23,93-4, 20; (AN15891571)
Collinge, A. I. (2006); Jan 27. 2006. Vol 231, iss 6036; pg 28, 2 pgs. Copyright Reed Business
Information UK Jan 27, 2006
Ditts, R. (1998). copyright by Robert Dilts., Santa Cruz, CA.“Richard Bandler Bio Page. http://222.nlpu.com/bandbio.htm
Derrington, A. (1999). Maps that show the paths to excellence: PSYCH YOUSELF UP
“A study of innate gifts that make people shine at what they do led unexpectedly to a new form of therapy”. Financial Times. London (UK): Sep 11, 1999. p 2. Copyright F. T. Business Enterprises Limited (FTBE) Sep 11, 1999.
Foster, S. (2007) Programming the mind [Echofeast Edition] Northern Echo. Darlington
(UK); Apr 17, 2007. p 15.
James, A. (20009). Sales Manage The Tad James Co Ashley James" ashley@nlpcoaching.com
To: lolyn123@comcast.netSent: Monday, February 23, 2009 9:06:44 AM GMT -07:00 US/Canada MountainSubject: RE: NLP with children
Grinder, J. (2006). Copyright (c) 2006 JohnGrinder.com
Jacobs, L. L. (1995). TEACHER'S EDITION (Version 1.4) Copyright 1995 Az Creative Strategies & LoLyn Jacobs
Pratt, D. (2005). Think, act and win. Supply Management: April 14, 2005,10,8; ABI/INFORM Global.
Smart, J. (2009). “When I really began to master the ultimate hypnotic pattern, Magic started to happen.” http://www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp-tip/294.html
YouTube: SaladHypnosis on You Tube, http://www.nlpedia.com/
bounce@infusionmail.com http://www.saladltd.co.uk/, personalchange@aweber.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYU7dkG6DtA&feature=related
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. ( 2003). Neurolinguistic Programming: Verbal communication.
Student BMJ. London May 2003 (Vol. 11 p163).Walter, J., Bayat, A. (2003).
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. ( 2003). Neurolinguistic programming: The keys to success. Student BMJ: July 2003, 11, Research Library p 252.
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. Neurolinguistic programming: Temperament and Character types. Student BMJ. London. Jun 2003. Vol. 11 pg 204.
Wood, J.A. (2006).
Author (year), Hypnosis Reduces Distress and Duration of an Invasive Medical Procedure for Children. NLP Revisited: Nonverbal communications and signals of trustworthiness. The Journal of Personal Selling and Sales Mangement. New York: Spring 2006. Vol.26, Iss.2; p197.
Using NLP with Children
Running Head: NLP with Children
The value of Neurolinguistic Programming with elementary school age children’s math skills.
LoLyn Fetzer, LPC
Argosy University
Abstract
The value of Neurolinguistic Programming with elementary school age children’s math skills will first define the concept of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), review the history, debunk the myths and describe NLP Metaphors. The experimental portion will introduce NLP metaphors to teachers and convince them to allow me to sit in on their classes during a math period when the benchmark skills are being tested. A post test will be given the students, followed by an NLP Metaphor with imbedded suggestions about the skills required, followed by a post test of the same math skills. The null hypothesis is: There is no quantifiable improvement of children’s math skills, as evaluated by pre and post tests, when given a specially crafted NLP metaphor, which includes the steps involved in the math skill following the pretest, when post tested after the metaphor.
Evaluation will be based on comparison of the scores on the two tests. If there is a significant quantifiable improvement of the math skills the conclusion will be that the NLP metaphor does have a positive impact on children’s math skills. Approximately 50 third grade students in different socioeconomic areas of Orem Utah will be tested. In order to generalize the results the activity should be repeated with a larger variety of students in various socioeconomic, cultural, language skills should be done in different parts of the world.
Null hypothesis: There is no significant quantifiable difference in the development of specific targeted math skills of the experimental group of children who are given the specially crafted NLP metaphor -- as opposed to those of the control group who allowed to rest and play for the same period of time -- as evaluated by pre and post tests.
Introduction to NLP
In this study I am introducing Neurolinguistic Programming as an essential component of education and counseling therapy. The various strategies of NLP are too important to be ignored by educators and therapist. Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP, is a collection of techniques that have been carefully studied, analyzed and developed into teachable skills by the men who began it, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, as well as the dozens that have followed each adding new techniques and skills to the umbrella that is Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP.
Null hypothesis: There is no quantifiable improvement of children’s math skills, as evaluated by pre and post tests, when given a specially crafted NLP metaphor, which includes the steps involved in the math skill, following the pretest when post tested after the metaphor.
The History of NLP
The History of NLP is the history of the subconscious or unconscious in psychology since the mid twentieth century, dating back to Milton Erickson. Fascinated with hypnotism, Erickson determined he could assist people in overcoming phobias and other neurosis. He observed other therapist and hypnotists in order to develop his own skills, but found himself unable to teach the skills. John Grinder and Richard Bandler observed therapists Milton Erickson, Virginia Satire and Fritz Perls in their very successful yet, different styles of therapies. This Mathematician and Linguist dissected the three therapists’ successful therapy sessions into steps, strategies and skills that could be taught, and of course, sold. Several companies have taken up the challenge each developing seminars, DVD training programs, hypnosis workshops, therapy cards on language, belief busting and speech patterns.
Andrew Derrington (1999) describes the creation of NLP in his title: “Observing innate gifts (which) make people shine at what they do led unexpectedly to a new form of therapy” (title, p 2). Derrington reviews the history of NLP, Grinder and Bandler, searching for better communication methods developed a new therapy as they began to understand the significance of what they were discovering observing the three prominent therapist (p 2). He reviews strategy of “becoming temporarily like the patient” through modeling the client in voice, body language and quality of word selection based on the senses (p 2).
Myths about NLP
Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP, has been known for good and evil among psychologists today. Sometimes it is because critics act as the ten blind men who described an elephant from the one part they touched. “It is like a rope.” one said,” no it is more like a fan,” said one holding the ears. “No it is like a huge rock,” explained the man holding a foot, and another insisted it was like a spear, as he held the tusks. Still another blind man exclaimed, “It is like a mountain!” as he pushed against the side of the elephant. The other five gave various definitions only from what they touched at the moment, not knowing about the other parts, and wondering why the others could be so very blind (Traditional oral folk story).
Among the critiques of NLP exist many myths to debunk. Perhaps the first myth to put to rest is that there is anything new under the sun. I have heard this was Plato’s sentiment, but he was plagiarizing (academic oral tradition). Even Bandler and Grinder openly explain that they selected strategies by observing the three most successful therapists of the time and developed the techniques into teachable skills. Initially that was what they were looking for, excellent communication skills, and they found them among the three great therapists who had learned their skills in education and through practice.
Another myth seems to be that NLP is no more than hocus pocus hypnosis. Not true; many of the techniques do not involve hypnosis techniques at all. Those which do are techniques for quick inducements; many are used for stage comedy performances, but are also used successfully to treat clients who seriously desire to change behaviors and thought patterns in their lives. There are excellent NLP techniques when paired with cognitive behavioral therapy, have brought about beneficial changes.
One myth which will prove false is that NLP is just another present day fad and will pass into the night like so many other mental health therapies. The objective of NLP developers is to develop all inclusive of techniques from all areas of psychology, business and coaching, involving the unconscious or subconscious. The fact that these techniques are used by marketing, advertisement, international businesses, sports coaches, and in all other walks of life by those who trained or not trained by NLP practitioners, makes it quite certain that the skills and techniques are here to stay. The name may change, but when the world has accepted techniques which work so well in so many areas, those skills and techniques are to be neither ignored nor forgotten.
Building Rapport
Dr. Pam Brown writes about NLP as it is used to improve rapport with patients, and explains how to use representational words to gain rapport within a client setting or in a regular conversation. NLP also is an aid in building rapport, sensory awareness, outcome thinking, behavioral flexibility and understanding. Learning awareness of the three styles of linguistic representation: kinesthetic, visual and auditory. Dr. Brown also touches on the topic of using all three different styles to teach, allowing all students to learn in their own style, which constitutes excellence in teaching.
It is with these rapport building techniques doctors have calmed and treated children. In medical articles such as “Hypnosis can help children with painful medical procedures” (Butler, 2005), and “Hypnosis reduces distress and duration of an invasive medical procedure for children” (Wood, J, A., 2006),” one is introduced to the use of hypnosis with children. It is common knowledge that rapport with the medical staff makes a positive difference in the recovery of children. Prayer circles and oral blessings have brought about miraculous healings through the power of positive suggestion to the child, giving assurance and building faith for the child to feel better, through which the pure power of positive thinking is frequently taught to children with chronic or critical illness.
Many of the techniques of hypnosis can be learned by therapists to enhance their rapport, their positive thinking, and their power to make positive suggestions to a child. These strategies do bring about changes in their behavior and social skills, as well as their academic level. This has been researched and proven empirically through activities designed to test each individual area (James, A. interview 2009). It is my challenge to pre and post test in an area of academic study, examining the results of NLP therapy on third grade students with bench mark math skills.
The experimental process
I plan to get permission to go into schools where I substitute teach, and pretest students’ skills at the benchmark level previous to using an NLP metaphor prepared especially for the activity. Testing the same skills with different problems previous to and following the metaphor will determine if this type of group talk therapy has efficacy in the schools. I am convinced this strategy will be successful, and that the skill should be taught to every school teacher and parent to increase the skill level of children of all ages. That would bring about the objective of “No Child Left Behind.” My null hypothesis is “There will be no change among student’s math skills as measured by a pre and post test after hearing an NLP metaphor designed for math learning.”
In an interview by email with Ashley James, she explains their program in Las Vegas, Nevada:
We teach a series of techniques that Tad James has developed though his understanding of NLP and working with children over the last 26 years. As a result after doing about 30 minutes with the child their grades over the next semester go up 1.5. That means if they were a C they are now a B+. Every NLP Practitioner Training we have parents and teachers come take the training just so they can learn these tools. They are so powerful often the children’s doctors in working with their parents take them off or lower their dose of the “ADD” drugs they are on. These tools we teach work with the child’s conscious and unconscious minds to teach them to focus, absorb information easily and enjoy recalling information easily, even long words with many syllables. We actually teach a specific tool on become an excellent speller. Kids after practicing this way with our tools get 100% on spelling tests (James, A. interview, 2009).
Review of the Literature of Neurolinguistic Programming
Available Literature
There is a dearth of literature on using NLP with children, and regarding NLP metaphors for children. This review is of the history and use of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) consisting mostly of articles in professional magazines and newspaper interviews or observations, and gives an overview of the many uses and innovative changes in NLP as used with adults. I learned about NLP from a friend in the early 1990’s. I was successfully hypnotized by him, then allowed him to hypnotize my children, while I observed and attempted to model the process. I write many children’s metaphors; they are stories I tell on the spur of the moment as an elementary school counselor in classes, or groups or individual settings, assessing the needs of the children, composing an oral story around them, using imbedded commands, and guided relaxation to involve them in a pleasant daydream state (1994, Arizona Strategies).
:
Definition
Walter and Bayat explain in “Neurolinguistic programming: the keys to success,” with which a therapist or client can become successful by modeling another who is excellent in an objective area. There are two main keys to success. The first key is setting a goal about which the authors write:
“be positive, be detailed, be realistic, set criteria for success and be prepared to make personal sacrifice. Number two key to success, is creating the correct model by paying attention to beliefs, physiology and strategy. Success is more likely if you define clearly what you want and take the appropriate steps to bring about your desired goal” (p 253).
In their article,“Neurolinguistic Programming, keys to success,” Walter and Bayal explain Verbal communication in NLP. According to their definition, “NLP is a system that uses the language of the mind to achieve our specific and desired outcomes consistently” (p 63). These authors describe the sensory styles and code them, explaining the process as “a tool to help us understand these programs and use them to meet our desired goals.” John Grinder and Richard Bandler, as all writers explain, were looking at therapists to understand how they “achieved excellent results” in communication (p 163). They studied the techniques of three ultra successful and popular therapists, Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls, and Milton Erickson around 1970. They began to use the data they gathered on the underlying techniques and discovered they could be used more broadly, and in the process Grinder and Bandler assimilated the theories into NLP.
Usages in non therapy settings
Since then, NLP has been used successfully in all areas, such as coaching sports, sales, advertising and visualization of winning. Many politicians have been trained with NLP in non-verbal communication. By learning to listen and communicate matching the kinesthetic, audio and visual languages people use, and matching them, therapists can become better communicators and establish better rapport with clients and others.
In “Temperament and character types” by Walter and Bayal (2003), temperament and character types are described, explaining that the character of the individual with whom the therapist communicates can be determined by knowing personality types. Understanding the personality differences encountered with people one meets daily might lead “to an understanding of our individual strengths and weaknesses” (p 204). Not only can recognizing character and personality differences help in communication with others, but in communicating with one’s self, as well. These authors make the claim that understanding one’s character traits and temperament may be a way of looking at career choices that are a best fit for the individual. Using the Myers-Briggs type indicator and the 16 major patterns of action developed in 1950’s Walter and Bayal have created a much shorter test which they claim gets the same results and included the test in the article. The test can help a person assess strengths and weaknesses, improve interaction with others. Recognizing these style differences can make a person a better communicator, and improve interaction. (figure 3)
David Pratt continues defining Neurolinguistic Programming beyond improved communication that Bandler and Grinder recognized. “It has evolved into a way of enhancing performance and releasing personal potential” (p 28). Using NLP for building relationships and in business negotiations has become common place. The creators of additional NLP strategies are trained practitioners who analyze top performers in their various activities, with the realization that within that which one person can do skillfully, there are skills which can be broken down and learned by others. “In ‘NLP speak’, the meaning of your communication is the response you get” (p 28). A therapist, salesman or coach can gain rapport immediately by identifying and making use of these techniques, using them to begin a conversation or lecture. Through modeling, or copying the body language of another person, a listener is able to adopt a similar style in these physical areas: Posture, movement and gesture, levels of breathing and quality, tone of voice. Again the three linguistic “preferred thinking styles” are considered: visual, auditory and kinesthetics.
“The estimate is that about 50-55 percent of people use a visual preferred thinking style.” Those who use auditory primarily interact with the world through sound. The use of kinesthetics to interact with the world is used by people who use mainly emotional and physical gestures, using such expressions like “fill me in with the details’ and ‘how would you feel if the role was reversed” (p 28).
From a marketing point of view, John Andy Wood informs the reader, “rapport and trust develop through synchronization of models of communication between the sender and receiver.” The study demonstrates the inclusion of neuroscience using “three independent, but related studies, to identify nonverbal cues associated with the representational systems, to test if descriptions of those nonverbal signals influence trustworthiness assessments, and, finally to test if those nonverbal signals trigger buyer’s positive assessment of the salesperson trust-building characteristics as well as trustworthiness (title abstract, p 197).
NLP Hypnosis
“Programming the mind” is the title Sarah Foster uses in describing a single personal NLP therapy session in which she became totally disarmed and let go of all the barriers she had built up, learning to recognize her own importance and significance. She claims to have felt more at peace during and after the NLP session; she concludes by saying: “I’m now more conscious of myself and why I do the things I do and feel; I’m still a work in progress”(p 15).
Hypnotist Paul Mckenna, who works with Britain’s top firms, is the subject of James Rossiter’s article. On Mckenna’s TV show (site article and year add to references), audience participation is invited, taking participants on stage Mckenna uses hypnosis for “good, light-hearted fun, putting them under, making them do things that they’ll later regret when they get to see the video” (p 1). He also teaches senior executives of some of UK’s largest corporations. His goal is to teach self improvement using NLP hypnosis. Teaching company executives to innovate is one part of his program of personal development, and emotional literacy. He is billed as a “happiness consultant” (p 3). He strongly emphasizes “hypnosis is a communication skill, not a magic power...helping you to step out of the limitations of mindsets, to get out of the problems you are in” (p 2).
In the 2006 edition of The Optician, Neurolinguistic Practitioner, Anthony Collinge, writes “programming is a method of matching the way a patient thinks, to improve communication” (head note, p 28). Neurolinguistic Programming, which has become only two words somewhere along the historical times line, is a method of learning how to observe patients, voice, expressions, body language and posture to gain rapport with them. In business or other areas like coaching, it is a way to train the clients using these same techniques. He claims people are frustrated by a listener who speaks faster or slower, louder or softer and the difference in pitch of their voice. This is not to say mimic the speaker, but matching in close proximity his mannerisms, posture and speech develops rapport. To avoid offending a speaker one might utilize cross-matching. The process of breaking rapport to end a meeting is to use body posture opposite the clients, such as standing with a hand on the doorknob, or near the door. “Even just sitting up straight can signal that it is time to move on” (p 29). On the question if these techniques are manipulative the answer is yes, they definitely do manipulate people’s thoughts for good or bad, however therapists and educators have an ethical responsibility to use them for the client’s good. Feelings, hearing and sight are three of the main linguistic “representational styles” (p 29). “If you can reply to a student or client using the same type of language then you are far more likely to communicate effectively with them” (p 29).
In Collinge’s (2006 title??) article, the reader is given guide lines for evaluating a conversation; this includes replaying the conversation from the perspective of oneself. Then again, observing it mentally from the speaker’s point of view, and finally from a neutral observer’s view point. Assimilating this assessment helps a therapist avoid making similar mistakes in another conversation. There are guides for assessing eye movement and body language, and clues to help differentiate left and right handed people.
The area of NLP appears to be constantly changing, updating and revaluating methods. The best way to get a quick overview, in addition to this paper, is to use the references and watch a few minutes of hypnosis, guided imagery and discussion about different uses of NLP. It is with this training that I will write my dissertation, involving the study of children changing behaviors after an NLP metaphor is presented to the children regarding the skills which will be tested.
NLP Metaphors
To conclude and bring the topic of NLP to the use of metaphors, I review two articles on NLP Metaphors which are essential in any profession. Jamie Smart describes “The Magic of Metaphors” (2009): “When I really began to master the ultimate hypnotic pattern.... magic started to happen” (title, p 1).
Very often as a school counselor I had teachers convinced that was I working magic. Because these were public schools, we never call it hypnosis, only guided imagery, which changed the lives of dozens of children. Jamie Smart tells of his experience in high school when he and his friends could get their French teacher to tell them risqué’ and exciting” stories by asking question which “got the teacher into a state where he suddenly found himself wanting to tell stories” (p 2).
According to Smart:
“hearing a story is anchored to that sense of warmth, safety and possibility we experience as children and when you hear a story; it sends a message to your neurology that says: ‘sit back, relax, and enjoy this ride all the way to the end” (p 2).
He describes his first metaphor: “I was working as a project manager of a multi million pound organizational change programmers” (p 2). Having just launched a business with a critical global computer system, “the director demanded to know what was wrong with the piece of processing” (p 2). Smart gave a technical explanation, and then in answer to a blank look, he replied: “There’s nothing wrong with it – it’s like the coalminer’s canary,” and the director visibly relaxed and accepted his explanation. Jamie enlightens the reader by explaining:
Coal miners used to take a canary down into the coal mine with them. If the canary died, the coalminers knew there was gas in the mine, and they had to get out. He understood the metaphor instantly, and we were able to move on” (p 2).
Jamie Smart describes the power of metaphor, listing many ways it is of value in promoting is seminar:
Captivate people’s attention; get them to become utterly fascinated. Speak directly to the unconscious mind; illustrate points effortlessly; develop a reputation as a clear thinker and superb communicator; get people to take off their amour, open up their minds. Easily get rid of objections and close the deal; change the meaning of literally anything; induce trance in listeners, make them more suggestible; helping clients learn more deeply; do covert change work and healing; distract the conscious mind and say, ‘I want to communicate directly with your unconscious mind,’ so you can guide the person’s attention in the direction you want to take it (p 2 paraphrased).
Smart presents a quote by Steven Heller, PhD and top hypnotherapies from Heller’s book, Monsters & Magical Sticks: there’s no such thing as hypnosis:
It is my belief that all presenting problems and symptoms are really metaphors that contain a story about what the problem really is. It is, therefore, the responsibility of the therapist to create metaphors that contain a story that contains the possible solution. The metaphor is the message... Hypnosis is, in and of itself, a metaphor inside a metaphor.... (p 5).
From the three hour recording of NLP Metaphor training offered by Jamie Smart, a subscriber might get acquainted with metaphor,
getting comfortable with the unfamiliar; therapists can use metaphors to deliver messages to people. Learn how to generate incredibly powerful metaphors on the fly; be confident in using metaphors in business meetings; tap into the incredibly powerful ‘me too’ phenomenon; key to the unconscious mind; and watch examples of conscious / unconscious dissociation. “Metaphors are the perfect camouflage for experimenting with NLP language patterns. Stacking creates a metaphor for someone’s problem; telling a relevant story is an essential skill (p 6, paraphrased).
“Of course, Smart wants to sell the reader on his products, so many imbedded commands are used throughout the article
David Gordon, one of the co-developers of NLP, himself demonstrates the Therapeutic Metaphor. He presents a brief history of Milton Erickson’s fame as a hypnotist; his student, Ernest Rossi, observed Milton’s work with clients, “recording the hypnotic induction step by step in the book, hypnotic realities” (p 1). Many did not recognize the patterns of hypnosis and could not copy Erickson. Milton Erickson told specially constructed stories to apply to individual clients. In 1944 Erickson wrote a paper “Revealing his process,” and yet, his process was so difficult and complex, virtually no one was able to use Therapeutic Metaphor as a treatment modality other than Erickson.
David Gordon came along and cracked the code and made Therapeutic Metaphor accessible to all. Gordon explains that Metaphors are ‘more than a way to talk about an experience. Metaphors are our experience’ (p 6).
The use of metaphors changes the way a person perceives and makes sense out of the things happening around him. They can be powerful forces to shift perception as well as experience. Through metaphors, people can transform their behavior. I believe the stories I used in the schools with children and their outcome were relevant proof of this statement, and it is my contention that the stories will work with academic learning as well as with social and personal skills.
By telling stories, a therapist can totally bring about overt or covert change. Many see themselves as they hear stories and even in many cases, become a part of the story. Gordon explains how metaphors work, comparing the telling of them to planting a seed. He explains, “Some spring forth immediately while others only work over time” (p 2). He describes two types of metaphors, isomorphic and universal. In the first there is a one on one relationship between every event in the story and the real world situation (p 7). “The universal metaphor is represented with the real world on top and the metaphoric world on bottom” (p 3). When a client cannot find a solution in his own mind, the therapist tells a metaphoric world which includes the client’s problem and a solution. Through the subconscious the client might process the solution and make it real in his own life. From the metaphor the client creates a solution which is the best one for the client and his own life. I will be using the latter type of metaphor in my adventure.
References
Bandler, R. Richard Bandler, the Hypnotist (2009).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYU7dkG6DtA&feature=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s941m7CKft4&feature=related
Hypnosis - Hypnotic Handshake Interrupt demonstration http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6cvzu6PiUs&feature=related
Hypnosis, personal power induction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSGnqVBZip8&feature=channel
Butler, L.D., Symons, B. K., Henderson, S.L., Shortliffe, L.D., Spiegel, D. (2005). Hypnosis Can Help Children with painful Medical Procedures. Piediatrics, Jan 2005. Vol.115 Issue 1, p 77-e85 (AN 15390240) 2005. Child Health Alert, Fet2005,Vol.23,93-4, 20; (AN15891571)
Collinge, A. I. (2006); Jan 27. 2006. Vol 231, iss 6036; pg 28, 2 pgs. Copyright Reed Business
Information UK Jan 27, 2006
Ditts, R. (1998). copyright by Robert Dilts., Santa Cruz, CA.“Richard Bandler Bio Page. http://222.nlpu.com/bandbio.htm
Derrington, A. (1999). Maps that show the paths to excellence: PSYCH YOUSELF UP
“A study of innate gifts that make people shine at what they do led unexpectedly to a new form of therapy”. Financial Times. London (UK): Sep 11, 1999. p 2. Copyright F. T. Business Enterprises Limited (FTBE) Sep 11, 1999.
Foster, S. (2007) Programming the mind [Echofeast Edition] Northern Echo. Darlington
(UK); Apr 17, 2007. p 15.
James, A. (20009). Sales Manage The Tad James Co Ashley James" ashley@nlpcoaching.com
To: lolyn123@comcast.netSent: Monday, February 23, 2009 9:06:44 AM GMT -07:00 US/Canada MountainSubject: RE: NLP with children
Grinder, J. (2006). Copyright (c) 2006 JohnGrinder.com
Jacobs, L. L. (1995). TEACHER'S EDITION (Version 1.4) Copyright 1995 Az Creative Strategies & LoLyn Jacobs
Pratt, D. (2005). Think, act and win. Supply Management: April 14, 2005,10,8; ABI/INFORM Global.
Smart, J. (2009). “When I really began to master the ultimate hypnotic pattern, Magic started to happen.” http://www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp-tip/294.html
YouTube: SaladHypnosis on You Tube, http://www.nlpedia.com/
bounce@infusionmail.com http://www.saladltd.co.uk/, personalchange@aweber.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYU7dkG6DtA&feature=related
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. ( 2003). Neurolinguistic Programming: Verbal communication.
Student BMJ. London May 2003 (Vol. 11 p163).Walter, J., Bayat, A. (2003).
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. ( 2003). Neurolinguistic programming: The keys to success. Student BMJ: July 2003, 11, Research Library p 252.
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. Neurolinguistic programming: Temperament and Character types. Student BMJ. London. Jun 2003. Vol. 11 pg 204.
Wood, J.A. (2006).
Author (year), Hypnosis Reduces Distress and Duration of an Invasive Medical Procedure for Children. NLP Revisited: Nonverbal communications and signals of trustworthiness. The Journal of Personal Selling and Sales Mangement. New York: Spring 2006. Vol.26, Iss.2; p197.
The value of Neurolinguistic Programming with elementary school age children’s math skills.
LoLyn Fetzer, LPC
Argosy University
Abstract
The value of Neurolinguistic Programming with elementary school age children’s math skills will first define the concept of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP), review the history, debunk the myths and describe NLP Metaphors. The experimental portion will introduce NLP metaphors to teachers and convince them to allow me to sit in on their classes during a math period when the benchmark skills are being tested. A post test will be given the students, followed by an NLP Metaphor with imbedded suggestions about the skills required, followed by a post test of the same math skills. The null hypothesis is: There is no quantifiable improvement of children’s math skills, as evaluated by pre and post tests, when given a specially crafted NLP metaphor, which includes the steps involved in the math skill following the pretest, when post tested after the metaphor.
Evaluation will be based on comparison of the scores on the two tests. If there is a significant quantifiable improvement of the math skills the conclusion will be that the NLP metaphor does have a positive impact on children’s math skills. Approximately 50 third grade students in different socioeconomic areas of Orem Utah will be tested. In order to generalize the results the activity should be repeated with a larger variety of students in various socioeconomic, cultural, language skills should be done in different parts of the world.
Null hypothesis: There is no significant quantifiable difference in the development of specific targeted math skills of the experimental group of children who are given the specially crafted NLP metaphor -- as opposed to those of the control group who allowed to rest and play for the same period of time -- as evaluated by pre and post tests.
Introduction to NLP
In this study I am introducing Neurolinguistic Programming as an essential component of education and counseling therapy. The various strategies of NLP are too important to be ignored by educators and therapist. Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP, is a collection of techniques that have been carefully studied, analyzed and developed into teachable skills by the men who began it, Richard Bandler and John Grinder, as well as the dozens that have followed each adding new techniques and skills to the umbrella that is Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP.
Null hypothesis: There is no quantifiable improvement of children’s math skills, as evaluated by pre and post tests, when given a specially crafted NLP metaphor, which includes the steps involved in the math skill, following the pretest when post tested after the metaphor.
The History of NLP
The History of NLP is the history of the subconscious or unconscious in psychology since the mid twentieth century, dating back to Milton Erickson. Fascinated with hypnotism, Erickson determined he could assist people in overcoming phobias and other neurosis. He observed other therapist and hypnotists in order to develop his own skills, but found himself unable to teach the skills. John Grinder and Richard Bandler observed therapists Milton Erickson, Virginia Satire and Fritz Perls in their very successful yet, different styles of therapies. This Mathematician and Linguist dissected the three therapists’ successful therapy sessions into steps, strategies and skills that could be taught, and of course, sold. Several companies have taken up the challenge each developing seminars, DVD training programs, hypnosis workshops, therapy cards on language, belief busting and speech patterns.
Andrew Derrington (1999) describes the creation of NLP in his title: “Observing innate gifts (which) make people shine at what they do led unexpectedly to a new form of therapy” (title, p 2). Derrington reviews the history of NLP, Grinder and Bandler, searching for better communication methods developed a new therapy as they began to understand the significance of what they were discovering observing the three prominent therapist (p 2). He reviews strategy of “becoming temporarily like the patient” through modeling the client in voice, body language and quality of word selection based on the senses (p 2).
Myths about NLP
Nerolinguistic Programming, NLP, has been known for good and evil among psychologists today. Sometimes it is because critics act as the ten blind men who described an elephant from the one part they touched. “It is like a rope.” one said,” no it is more like a fan,” said one holding the ears. “No it is like a huge rock,” explained the man holding a foot, and another insisted it was like a spear, as he held the tusks. Still another blind man exclaimed, “It is like a mountain!” as he pushed against the side of the elephant. The other five gave various definitions only from what they touched at the moment, not knowing about the other parts, and wondering why the others could be so very blind (Traditional oral folk story).
Among the critiques of NLP exist many myths to debunk. Perhaps the first myth to put to rest is that there is anything new under the sun. I have heard this was Plato’s sentiment, but he was plagiarizing (academic oral tradition). Even Bandler and Grinder openly explain that they selected strategies by observing the three most successful therapists of the time and developed the techniques into teachable skills. Initially that was what they were looking for, excellent communication skills, and they found them among the three great therapists who had learned their skills in education and through practice.
Another myth seems to be that NLP is no more than hocus pocus hypnosis. Not true; many of the techniques do not involve hypnosis techniques at all. Those which do are techniques for quick inducements; many are used for stage comedy performances, but are also used successfully to treat clients who seriously desire to change behaviors and thought patterns in their lives. There are excellent NLP techniques when paired with cognitive behavioral therapy, have brought about beneficial changes.
One myth which will prove false is that NLP is just another present day fad and will pass into the night like so many other mental health therapies. The objective of NLP developers is to develop all inclusive of techniques from all areas of psychology, business and coaching, involving the unconscious or subconscious. The fact that these techniques are used by marketing, advertisement, international businesses, sports coaches, and in all other walks of life by those who trained or not trained by NLP practitioners, makes it quite certain that the skills and techniques are here to stay. The name may change, but when the world has accepted techniques which work so well in so many areas, those skills and techniques are to be neither ignored nor forgotten.
Building Rapport
Dr. Pam Brown writes about NLP as it is used to improve rapport with patients, and explains how to use representational words to gain rapport within a client setting or in a regular conversation. NLP also is an aid in building rapport, sensory awareness, outcome thinking, behavioral flexibility and understanding. Learning awareness of the three styles of linguistic representation: kinesthetic, visual and auditory. Dr. Brown also touches on the topic of using all three different styles to teach, allowing all students to learn in their own style, which constitutes excellence in teaching.
It is with these rapport building techniques doctors have calmed and treated children. In medical articles such as “Hypnosis can help children with painful medical procedures” (Butler, 2005), and “Hypnosis reduces distress and duration of an invasive medical procedure for children” (Wood, J, A., 2006),” one is introduced to the use of hypnosis with children. It is common knowledge that rapport with the medical staff makes a positive difference in the recovery of children. Prayer circles and oral blessings have brought about miraculous healings through the power of positive suggestion to the child, giving assurance and building faith for the child to feel better, through which the pure power of positive thinking is frequently taught to children with chronic or critical illness.
Many of the techniques of hypnosis can be learned by therapists to enhance their rapport, their positive thinking, and their power to make positive suggestions to a child. These strategies do bring about changes in their behavior and social skills, as well as their academic level. This has been researched and proven empirically through activities designed to test each individual area (James, A. interview 2009). It is my challenge to pre and post test in an area of academic study, examining the results of NLP therapy on third grade students with bench mark math skills.
The experimental process
I plan to get permission to go into schools where I substitute teach, and pretest students’ skills at the benchmark level previous to using an NLP metaphor prepared especially for the activity. Testing the same skills with different problems previous to and following the metaphor will determine if this type of group talk therapy has efficacy in the schools. I am convinced this strategy will be successful, and that the skill should be taught to every school teacher and parent to increase the skill level of children of all ages. That would bring about the objective of “No Child Left Behind.” My null hypothesis is “There will be no change among student’s math skills as measured by a pre and post test after hearing an NLP metaphor designed for math learning.”
In an interview by email with Ashley James, she explains their program in Las Vegas, Nevada:
We teach a series of techniques that Tad James has developed though his understanding of NLP and working with children over the last 26 years. As a result after doing about 30 minutes with the child their grades over the next semester go up 1.5. That means if they were a C they are now a B+. Every NLP Practitioner Training we have parents and teachers come take the training just so they can learn these tools. They are so powerful often the children’s doctors in working with their parents take them off or lower their dose of the “ADD” drugs they are on. These tools we teach work with the child’s conscious and unconscious minds to teach them to focus, absorb information easily and enjoy recalling information easily, even long words with many syllables. We actually teach a specific tool on become an excellent speller. Kids after practicing this way with our tools get 100% on spelling tests (James, A. interview, 2009).
Review of the Literature of Neurolinguistic Programming
Available Literature
There is a dearth of literature on using NLP with children, and regarding NLP metaphors for children. This review is of the history and use of Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) consisting mostly of articles in professional magazines and newspaper interviews or observations, and gives an overview of the many uses and innovative changes in NLP as used with adults. I learned about NLP from a friend in the early 1990’s. I was successfully hypnotized by him, then allowed him to hypnotize my children, while I observed and attempted to model the process. I write many children’s metaphors; they are stories I tell on the spur of the moment as an elementary school counselor in classes, or groups or individual settings, assessing the needs of the children, composing an oral story around them, using imbedded commands, and guided relaxation to involve them in a pleasant daydream state (1994, Arizona Strategies).
:
Definition
Walter and Bayat explain in “Neurolinguistic programming: the keys to success,” with which a therapist or client can become successful by modeling another who is excellent in an objective area. There are two main keys to success. The first key is setting a goal about which the authors write:
“be positive, be detailed, be realistic, set criteria for success and be prepared to make personal sacrifice. Number two key to success, is creating the correct model by paying attention to beliefs, physiology and strategy. Success is more likely if you define clearly what you want and take the appropriate steps to bring about your desired goal” (p 253).
In their article,“Neurolinguistic Programming, keys to success,” Walter and Bayal explain Verbal communication in NLP. According to their definition, “NLP is a system that uses the language of the mind to achieve our specific and desired outcomes consistently” (p 63). These authors describe the sensory styles and code them, explaining the process as “a tool to help us understand these programs and use them to meet our desired goals.” John Grinder and Richard Bandler, as all writers explain, were looking at therapists to understand how they “achieved excellent results” in communication (p 163). They studied the techniques of three ultra successful and popular therapists, Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls, and Milton Erickson around 1970. They began to use the data they gathered on the underlying techniques and discovered they could be used more broadly, and in the process Grinder and Bandler assimilated the theories into NLP.
Usages in non therapy settings
Since then, NLP has been used successfully in all areas, such as coaching sports, sales, advertising and visualization of winning. Many politicians have been trained with NLP in non-verbal communication. By learning to listen and communicate matching the kinesthetic, audio and visual languages people use, and matching them, therapists can become better communicators and establish better rapport with clients and others.
In “Temperament and character types” by Walter and Bayal (2003), temperament and character types are described, explaining that the character of the individual with whom the therapist communicates can be determined by knowing personality types. Understanding the personality differences encountered with people one meets daily might lead “to an understanding of our individual strengths and weaknesses” (p 204). Not only can recognizing character and personality differences help in communication with others, but in communicating with one’s self, as well. These authors make the claim that understanding one’s character traits and temperament may be a way of looking at career choices that are a best fit for the individual. Using the Myers-Briggs type indicator and the 16 major patterns of action developed in 1950’s Walter and Bayal have created a much shorter test which they claim gets the same results and included the test in the article. The test can help a person assess strengths and weaknesses, improve interaction with others. Recognizing these style differences can make a person a better communicator, and improve interaction. (figure 3)
David Pratt continues defining Neurolinguistic Programming beyond improved communication that Bandler and Grinder recognized. “It has evolved into a way of enhancing performance and releasing personal potential” (p 28). Using NLP for building relationships and in business negotiations has become common place. The creators of additional NLP strategies are trained practitioners who analyze top performers in their various activities, with the realization that within that which one person can do skillfully, there are skills which can be broken down and learned by others. “In ‘NLP speak’, the meaning of your communication is the response you get” (p 28). A therapist, salesman or coach can gain rapport immediately by identifying and making use of these techniques, using them to begin a conversation or lecture. Through modeling, or copying the body language of another person, a listener is able to adopt a similar style in these physical areas: Posture, movement and gesture, levels of breathing and quality, tone of voice. Again the three linguistic “preferred thinking styles” are considered: visual, auditory and kinesthetics.
“The estimate is that about 50-55 percent of people use a visual preferred thinking style.” Those who use auditory primarily interact with the world through sound. The use of kinesthetics to interact with the world is used by people who use mainly emotional and physical gestures, using such expressions like “fill me in with the details’ and ‘how would you feel if the role was reversed” (p 28).
From a marketing point of view, John Andy Wood informs the reader, “rapport and trust develop through synchronization of models of communication between the sender and receiver.” The study demonstrates the inclusion of neuroscience using “three independent, but related studies, to identify nonverbal cues associated with the representational systems, to test if descriptions of those nonverbal signals influence trustworthiness assessments, and, finally to test if those nonverbal signals trigger buyer’s positive assessment of the salesperson trust-building characteristics as well as trustworthiness (title abstract, p 197).
NLP Hypnosis
“Programming the mind” is the title Sarah Foster uses in describing a single personal NLP therapy session in which she became totally disarmed and let go of all the barriers she had built up, learning to recognize her own importance and significance. She claims to have felt more at peace during and after the NLP session; she concludes by saying: “I’m now more conscious of myself and why I do the things I do and feel; I’m still a work in progress”(p 15).
Hypnotist Paul Mckenna, who works with Britain’s top firms, is the subject of James Rossiter’s article. On Mckenna’s TV show (site article and year add to references), audience participation is invited, taking participants on stage Mckenna uses hypnosis for “good, light-hearted fun, putting them under, making them do things that they’ll later regret when they get to see the video” (p 1). He also teaches senior executives of some of UK’s largest corporations. His goal is to teach self improvement using NLP hypnosis. Teaching company executives to innovate is one part of his program of personal development, and emotional literacy. He is billed as a “happiness consultant” (p 3). He strongly emphasizes “hypnosis is a communication skill, not a magic power...helping you to step out of the limitations of mindsets, to get out of the problems you are in” (p 2).
In the 2006 edition of The Optician, Neurolinguistic Practitioner, Anthony Collinge, writes “programming is a method of matching the way a patient thinks, to improve communication” (head note, p 28). Neurolinguistic Programming, which has become only two words somewhere along the historical times line, is a method of learning how to observe patients, voice, expressions, body language and posture to gain rapport with them. In business or other areas like coaching, it is a way to train the clients using these same techniques. He claims people are frustrated by a listener who speaks faster or slower, louder or softer and the difference in pitch of their voice. This is not to say mimic the speaker, but matching in close proximity his mannerisms, posture and speech develops rapport. To avoid offending a speaker one might utilize cross-matching. The process of breaking rapport to end a meeting is to use body posture opposite the clients, such as standing with a hand on the doorknob, or near the door. “Even just sitting up straight can signal that it is time to move on” (p 29). On the question if these techniques are manipulative the answer is yes, they definitely do manipulate people’s thoughts for good or bad, however therapists and educators have an ethical responsibility to use them for the client’s good. Feelings, hearing and sight are three of the main linguistic “representational styles” (p 29). “If you can reply to a student or client using the same type of language then you are far more likely to communicate effectively with them” (p 29).
In Collinge’s (2006 title??) article, the reader is given guide lines for evaluating a conversation; this includes replaying the conversation from the perspective of oneself. Then again, observing it mentally from the speaker’s point of view, and finally from a neutral observer’s view point. Assimilating this assessment helps a therapist avoid making similar mistakes in another conversation. There are guides for assessing eye movement and body language, and clues to help differentiate left and right handed people.
The area of NLP appears to be constantly changing, updating and revaluating methods. The best way to get a quick overview, in addition to this paper, is to use the references and watch a few minutes of hypnosis, guided imagery and discussion about different uses of NLP. It is with this training that I will write my dissertation, involving the study of children changing behaviors after an NLP metaphor is presented to the children regarding the skills which will be tested.
NLP Metaphors
To conclude and bring the topic of NLP to the use of metaphors, I review two articles on NLP Metaphors which are essential in any profession. Jamie Smart describes “The Magic of Metaphors” (2009): “When I really began to master the ultimate hypnotic pattern.... magic started to happen” (title, p 1).
Very often as a school counselor I had teachers convinced that was I working magic. Because these were public schools, we never call it hypnosis, only guided imagery, which changed the lives of dozens of children. Jamie Smart tells of his experience in high school when he and his friends could get their French teacher to tell them risqué’ and exciting” stories by asking question which “got the teacher into a state where he suddenly found himself wanting to tell stories” (p 2).
According to Smart:
“hearing a story is anchored to that sense of warmth, safety and possibility we experience as children and when you hear a story; it sends a message to your neurology that says: ‘sit back, relax, and enjoy this ride all the way to the end” (p 2).
He describes his first metaphor: “I was working as a project manager of a multi million pound organizational change programmers” (p 2). Having just launched a business with a critical global computer system, “the director demanded to know what was wrong with the piece of processing” (p 2). Smart gave a technical explanation, and then in answer to a blank look, he replied: “There’s nothing wrong with it – it’s like the coalminer’s canary,” and the director visibly relaxed and accepted his explanation. Jamie enlightens the reader by explaining:
Coal miners used to take a canary down into the coal mine with them. If the canary died, the coalminers knew there was gas in the mine, and they had to get out. He understood the metaphor instantly, and we were able to move on” (p 2).
Jamie Smart describes the power of metaphor, listing many ways it is of value in promoting is seminar:
Captivate people’s attention; get them to become utterly fascinated. Speak directly to the unconscious mind; illustrate points effortlessly; develop a reputation as a clear thinker and superb communicator; get people to take off their amour, open up their minds. Easily get rid of objections and close the deal; change the meaning of literally anything; induce trance in listeners, make them more suggestible; helping clients learn more deeply; do covert change work and healing; distract the conscious mind and say, ‘I want to communicate directly with your unconscious mind,’ so you can guide the person’s attention in the direction you want to take it (p 2 paraphrased).
Smart presents a quote by Steven Heller, PhD and top hypnotherapies from Heller’s book, Monsters & Magical Sticks: there’s no such thing as hypnosis:
It is my belief that all presenting problems and symptoms are really metaphors that contain a story about what the problem really is. It is, therefore, the responsibility of the therapist to create metaphors that contain a story that contains the possible solution. The metaphor is the message... Hypnosis is, in and of itself, a metaphor inside a metaphor.... (p 5).
From the three hour recording of NLP Metaphor training offered by Jamie Smart, a subscriber might get acquainted with metaphor,
getting comfortable with the unfamiliar; therapists can use metaphors to deliver messages to people. Learn how to generate incredibly powerful metaphors on the fly; be confident in using metaphors in business meetings; tap into the incredibly powerful ‘me too’ phenomenon; key to the unconscious mind; and watch examples of conscious / unconscious dissociation. “Metaphors are the perfect camouflage for experimenting with NLP language patterns. Stacking creates a metaphor for someone’s problem; telling a relevant story is an essential skill (p 6, paraphrased).
“Of course, Smart wants to sell the reader on his products, so many imbedded commands are used throughout the article
David Gordon, one of the co-developers of NLP, himself demonstrates the Therapeutic Metaphor. He presents a brief history of Milton Erickson’s fame as a hypnotist; his student, Ernest Rossi, observed Milton’s work with clients, “recording the hypnotic induction step by step in the book, hypnotic realities” (p 1). Many did not recognize the patterns of hypnosis and could not copy Erickson. Milton Erickson told specially constructed stories to apply to individual clients. In 1944 Erickson wrote a paper “Revealing his process,” and yet, his process was so difficult and complex, virtually no one was able to use Therapeutic Metaphor as a treatment modality other than Erickson.
David Gordon came along and cracked the code and made Therapeutic Metaphor accessible to all. Gordon explains that Metaphors are ‘more than a way to talk about an experience. Metaphors are our experience’ (p 6).
The use of metaphors changes the way a person perceives and makes sense out of the things happening around him. They can be powerful forces to shift perception as well as experience. Through metaphors, people can transform their behavior. I believe the stories I used in the schools with children and their outcome were relevant proof of this statement, and it is my contention that the stories will work with academic learning as well as with social and personal skills.
By telling stories, a therapist can totally bring about overt or covert change. Many see themselves as they hear stories and even in many cases, become a part of the story. Gordon explains how metaphors work, comparing the telling of them to planting a seed. He explains, “Some spring forth immediately while others only work over time” (p 2). He describes two types of metaphors, isomorphic and universal. In the first there is a one on one relationship between every event in the story and the real world situation (p 7). “The universal metaphor is represented with the real world on top and the metaphoric world on bottom” (p 3). When a client cannot find a solution in his own mind, the therapist tells a metaphoric world which includes the client’s problem and a solution. Through the subconscious the client might process the solution and make it real in his own life. From the metaphor the client creates a solution which is the best one for the client and his own life. I will be using the latter type of metaphor in my adventure.
References
Bandler, R. Richard Bandler, the Hypnotist (2009).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYU7dkG6DtA&feature=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s941m7CKft4&feature=related
Hypnosis - Hypnotic Handshake Interrupt demonstration http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6cvzu6PiUs&feature=related
Hypnosis, personal power induction.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSGnqVBZip8&feature=channel
Butler, L.D., Symons, B. K., Henderson, S.L., Shortliffe, L.D., Spiegel, D. (2005). Hypnosis Can Help Children with painful Medical Procedures. Piediatrics, Jan 2005. Vol.115 Issue 1, p 77-e85 (AN 15390240) 2005. Child Health Alert, Fet2005,Vol.23,93-4, 20; (AN15891571)
Collinge, A. I. (2006); Jan 27. 2006. Vol 231, iss 6036; pg 28, 2 pgs. Copyright Reed Business
Information UK Jan 27, 2006
Ditts, R. (1998). copyright by Robert Dilts., Santa Cruz, CA.“Richard Bandler Bio Page. http://222.nlpu.com/bandbio.htm
Derrington, A. (1999). Maps that show the paths to excellence: PSYCH YOUSELF UP
“A study of innate gifts that make people shine at what they do led unexpectedly to a new form of therapy”. Financial Times. London (UK): Sep 11, 1999. p 2. Copyright F. T. Business Enterprises Limited (FTBE) Sep 11, 1999.
Foster, S. (2007) Programming the mind [Echofeast Edition] Northern Echo. Darlington
(UK); Apr 17, 2007. p 15.
James, A. (20009). Sales Manage The Tad James Co Ashley James" ashley@nlpcoaching.com
To: lolyn123@comcast.netSent: Monday, February 23, 2009 9:06:44 AM GMT -07:00 US/Canada MountainSubject: RE: NLP with children
Grinder, J. (2006). Copyright (c) 2006 JohnGrinder.com
Jacobs, L. L. (1995). TEACHER'S EDITION (Version 1.4) Copyright 1995 Az Creative Strategies & LoLyn Jacobs
Pratt, D. (2005). Think, act and win. Supply Management: April 14, 2005,10,8; ABI/INFORM Global.
Smart, J. (2009). “When I really began to master the ultimate hypnotic pattern, Magic started to happen.” http://www.saladltd.co.uk/nlp-tip/294.html
YouTube: SaladHypnosis on You Tube, http://www.nlpedia.com/
bounce@infusionmail.com http://www.saladltd.co.uk/, personalchange@aweber.com http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYU7dkG6DtA&feature=related
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. ( 2003). Neurolinguistic Programming: Verbal communication.
Student BMJ. London May 2003 (Vol. 11 p163).Walter, J., Bayat, A. (2003).
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. ( 2003). Neurolinguistic programming: The keys to success. Student BMJ: July 2003, 11, Research Library p 252.
Walter, J. & Bayat, A. Neurolinguistic programming: Temperament and Character types. Student BMJ. London. Jun 2003. Vol. 11 pg 204.
Wood, J.A. (2006).
Author (year), Hypnosis Reduces Distress and Duration of an Invasive Medical Procedure for Children. NLP Revisited: Nonverbal communications and signals of trustworthiness. The Journal of Personal Selling and Sales Mangement. New York: Spring 2006. Vol.26, Iss.2; p197.
Harlin Kilstein
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This is the question that plagues people trying to become more confident and self-assured.
But it's not as hard as it seems.
Here's what you need to know:
Confidence is not the same thing as arrogance.
Confidence comes from within.
That doesn't mean that if you don't have "it" you're doomed forever.
It just means that bragging about your accomplishments and how confident you are does NOT make you seem confident.
It makes you look like a jerk.
Don't define yourself negatively.
Saying "I am too shy" or "I don't have that kind of confidence" will kill your confidence before you even begin.
Both confidence and lack of it are behaviors and beliefs that we learned, usually as kids.
The key to gaining confidence is changing these beliefs.
If there are people in your life constantly putting you down and blaming you, they are killing your confidence.
Disengage yourself from these negative people.
You don't need them in your life.
If you can't get rid of them, then you can make the decision NOT to listen to their negativity.
You're in charge of your own brain--you decide what you pay attention to and what you ignore as "background noise."
And as the master of your brain, you can do a few other things, too.
For instance, as soon as you start to get nervous, anxious, or shy, STOP.
Realize that your brain is just reacting the way it's been taught to react, and that you can change this reaction.
The fastest way to change this is by using the Physiology of Excellence technique to stop the negative mindset at the source.
A less effective method is by gradually imagining yourself as a more confident person, visualizing in great detail how you would react to the same situations more confidently.
This method generally helps, but can take months or even years to see improvement.
The Physiology of Excellence, however, is a brain-based technique that bypasses your conscious mind in order to get to the root of your negative beliefs.
Using this technique you can transform your "panic stage" or your bad habits into the trigger for the new, confident you.
Go here now to check out this technique for yourself:
And we are in the last day of our 50% off sale
http://physiologyofexcellence. com/rain.html
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- Create powerful, positive belief-
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- Contains 52 language patterns &
52 Belief change Questions
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